Unexpected

I, Erin, often forget just how much we have adapted to life overseas.  Many aspects of our lives here are so different than how both John and I grew up.  A few examples are all the bread we eat is homemade, we leave our front door and windows open all day, we don’t wear shoes in the house, we take cold showers, our house doesn’t have a number, nor our street a name, we ride scooters around town, we don’t drink the water from the tap, we see banana and coconut trees out our windows, and to interact with people, all we have to do is go outside our front door.  Many of these aspects have become our new normal.  We often feel we understand much of how life operates here, until something unexpected comes along. 

I grew up recycling everything possible, so I have a hard time throwing away any glass, tin cans, plastic, or paper, which we have a lot of with homeschooling.  Garbage is a problem here anyway, with most of our neighbors taking their garbage to an empty lot two house away or 3 block to the sea.  Thankfully, I have recently learned a man will come by the house, without any consistent schedule, to buy glass bottles.  And another comes for metal.  Then there is a neighbor who collects plastic which he re-sells.  For our organic matter, fruit and vegetable skins, and paper, I have been composting.  This has really helped cut down on our garbage and provides a great way to get rid of all our paper.  

The beginnings of our end-of-the-school-year paper disposal.

Upon our return to Barat this past January, I began composting right away.  I had dreams of gardening around the foundation of our house and wanted some compost to use.  Last month, a neighbor helped make us a short bamboo fence to place around the plots of garden space.  I was preparing to plant.  My compost bin was ¾ of the way full, with at least a quarter broken down and ready to be used.  Two weeks ago we took a weekend trip to the provincial capital.  When we returned home, I found the compost bin upside down and completely empty.  We had been using the same composting bin for over a year with other little garbage cans spaced around the our house for garbage.  There are many kids and adults that sit under our house to attend the reading program or just enjoy the shade.  We have spent many words teaching them to throw their garbage away in the garbage cans, and even differentiating for them the purpose of the one large bin with holes.  After all this time I thought it was obvious, but someone very kindly decided to empty ALL our containers, even the compost bin. 

Preparing to plant pineapples!

   I planted a garden anyway, just without compost.  It has been a fun activity to do with the kids, Caedmon has been the most interested.  The neighborhood kids have thoroughly enjoyed watching for little sprouts and learning what has been planted.  We planted lemon grass (above left), chili peppers, tomatoes, basil, cauliflower, bell peppers, papaya, and pineapple (above right).  

The other recent surprise came when I attended a pre-wedding event last week  We have been to so weddings since living overseas, I’ve lost count.  Last week, one of the reading program teachers was to be married.  We were invited to the pre-wedding henna event.  This usually occurs the night before the wedding.  This time the family explained it would occur on a Thursday night, though the wedding was on Sunday.  Or so we thought.  

Part of the henna ceremony

With the bride in her room

I attended the henna event by myself last Thursday night.  I changed into a collared shirt, but nothing fancy.  When I arrived everyone was decked out in their best party attire.  After eating and watching what remained of the henna ceremony, I followed the bride into her room.  I politely informed her it was time for me to go home, thinking all was finished.  Surprised, everyone in the room, a few cousins, the makeup artist, and an aunt, tried to explain the actual wedding ceremony was to take place that night.  The bride had entered her room to await the arrival of the groom.  I was so confused.  Upon further explanation, I began to understand the family considered getting married on Sunday to bring bad luck to the new marriage.  Thursday on the other hand would not.  Accordingly, the bride and groom were married that night, parted ways afterwards, and did not see each other again until Sunday, when the big wedding event was held and repeated much of the ceremony that took place on Thursday.  

The arrival of the groom

The legal wedding ceremony

The groom entering the room to retrieve his wife

The Married Couple

Though we have learned a great deal in our seven years overseas, we are reminded there is still a great deal to learn!

A Crazy Week

We expected this last week to be unusually packed with activities.  Expectations though, are often incorrect, both in pleasant and unpleasant ways.  

Monday and Tuesday brought the last two days of fasting.  This also included the last major preparations our neighbors had for the largest holiday of the year, which occurred on Wednesday.  The eve of the largest holiday of the year was also Evangeline's third birthday.  

I began the week planning for our birthday celebration and the receiving of guests for the Wednesday holiday.  John and the boys helped with market and birthday shopping, while I baked cookies, cake, and participated in our neighbors' preparations.  

Tuesday morning I spent with neighbors.  

They had woven containers out of palm fronds the day prior, then began cooking them first thing Tuesday morning.  I too had woven containers and expected to cook them with neighbors that morning.  By the time we finished our morning Birthday celebrations for Evangeline and I was ready for the rest of the day, about 9m, most neighbors had already begun cooking their rice filled containers.  Most of my morning was spent visiting various neighbors, filling my containers (above picture), and being helped to find a neighbors' pot to put my rice containers in to cook.  

Two neighbors behind our house.

Almost each house in our neighborhood had a pot over a fire, cooking their wrapped rice.

A "Grandma" tending to her pot of wrapped rice.  

This grandma, who only uses the Barat language with me, helped me fill and repair some of my dried out woven containers

We all worked together to make a doll house for Evangeline.

John took on the bulk of the work, cutting, preparing, and putting together the wood pieces.

The Birthday Girl

Celebrating with cinnamon rolls and Whitman helping with presents.

Evangeline with her doll house.

Our 3 year old!

We enjoyed our time together celebrating Evangeline's birthday.  She enjoyed it too.  She continues to say, "I three still," as she holds up her 3 fingers.  

The largest holiday of the year began, as usual, with all our neighbors gathering at the local soccer field for a short religious service.  During this time I expected to prepare a soup to serve guests with our wrapped rice.  This holiday is usually spent eating special foods and visiting family and friends.  The other aspect we expected, besides visiting friends ourselves, was to receive many children at our house after the morning service.  It is similar to Halloween in that the children travel door to door, but they are dressed in new clothes and ask for money, not candy.  Well, our incorrect expectations began about this time.  We received about 70 children and were out of cash.  Then our adult neighbors began showing up too.  I had just barely began the soup, which had to be put on hold to host our guests, and neither had I showered.  After the first wave, I jumped in the shower.  Thankfully we had cookies and drinks to serve, but even that didn't stretch as far as I would have wished.  As we have lived in this town for 5 years, we thought our expectations were reasonable.  Apparently the manner in which this holiday is celebrated is different even just across town where we now find ourselves living.  None of the groups of neighbors stayed very long, but it wasn't until about 11am that we had a chance to close our door and head out to do our own visiting.  

Visiting John's primary language helper and his family.  

They served us a complete meal with wrapped rice, fish, chicken, and soup.

Then we were offered juice and cookies.

Whitman, Caedmon, and Evangeline enjoying cookies.

We finished Wednesday with another visit to friends from our old neighborhood.  Thursday we visited with a couple other neighbors from our old neighborhood  Then Friday morning we visited our current neighbors, a total of eight households by the end of the day.

Saturday we spent in our usual fashion; as a family playing games at home and going out to eat.

As the holiday week was just coming to an end, it took us three tries to find an open restaurant.

We ended up at a new to us place on the side of the road with a beach front for the boys to play at.

The week was full of opportunities to see people and bless them by a visit to their homes.  We learned a great deal about the culture here and hope to be better prepared for next year!

Recent Happenings

Over the past month we have been busy.  In addition to our regular daily activities of language study, homeschooling, and John’s foundation work, we have had the pleasure of hosting two different pairs of friends from the states and traveling out of the country for a conference. 

Having visitors from the States is always an encouraging time.  We often see our surroundings through the new eyes our visitors bring, then realize the growth that has occurred in our lives from living overseas.  The familiarity visitors brings is quite enjoyable as well; familiarity of culture, language, and often small treats they bring!

Our conference, like many work conferences, provided us with additional equipping for the task at hand and enabled connecting with others in the same line of work.  Furthermore, the week among like minded people provided much fellowship and refreshing.  Caedmon, Whitman, and Evangeline thoroughly enjoyed the organized activities they took part in and time with other English speaking children, many whom they already knew.  

Conference Talent Show

Caedmon had prepared a song to play while Evangeline sang. 

From all the activities at the conference, Evangeline fell asleep early the night of the show.  In true flexibility, Caedmon gladly welcomed a couple friends to sing with him in place of his sister!

As we continue on with our daily activities we currently find ourselves having to adjust our schedules.  We are in the middle of the fasting month, which brings many changes to peoples' daily routines.  Our neighbors all wake up much earlier than normal, at about 3am.  The women typically have fewer activities during the mornings as they are not cooking lunch for their families.  Instead, many of them are inside cooking during the afternoon, preparing for the breaking of the fast at sundown.  John has found difficulty meeting with people for language study as one helper is currently selling young coconuts in the afternoon and others have less predictable schedules than usual.  

Most government offices and stores are open, doing business as usual.  One exception has been the availability of baking ingredients.  Baking is not a common activity in this culture, except during this time of year.  Similar to holiday baking in the States, the Barat community increases their production of baked goods.  Due to this fact, milk, sugar, flour, and gas (for stoves) have been harder to find regularly stocked in the stores.  A difference here compared with the States is these highly sought after items, including chicken and eggs as well, are sold at an increased price during this time of year.  

Wrapped Coconut Rice

As I, Erin, have also had to find other ways to interact with our community during this month, I've been blessed to take part in preparing many 'Holiday Foods.'

Making containers out of leaves for a dessert.  

Breaking the Fast

To break the fast each day people often serve their families a sweet, wet dessert and a pastry, which may be sweet or savory.  One neighbor put it this way, "As long as there is something to hold and something wet."

So we prepared 'fruit soup' and a couple different savory pastries to share with neighbors.

Evangeline with neighbor kids at our Breaking the Fast event.  

Language Learning

A couple weeks ago, a neighbor cut down one of the coconut trees behind our house.  As we stood there watching, Evangeline commented, “Papa Sofian fall down tree.”  Evangeline was retelling what had happened.  No, the man did not fall down from the tree, but rather fell the tree with his chainsaw.  

I marveled at Evangeline’s comment.  First it was amusing to take it literally, but I also understood the meaning she intended.  It amazed me how my two year could take the words she already knew and put them together to attempt to communicate something new.  She was grammatically wrong, but we all understood her, and as she is learning to communicate, it really didn’t matter.  

I reflected on how this is very similar to where I am in language study.  I have a foundational vocabulary in the Barat language, but when constructing sentences I sound much like Evangeline, using the wrong words though similar in meaning.  I also do not conjugate verbs properly resulting in much confusion as to who is doing it or is it being done to them.  The worst is the verb eat; I speak and mix up whether someone is eating or being eaten.  

When we first moved to this country we attended a course to learn the national language.  It was all laid out for us, we just had to arrive and study.  Now studying the Barat language, though we have a great curriculum, we have to find our own tutors, often people that have never taught before, arrange our own activities, and pursue practicing. 

Helping a neighbor cook as I study the process.

Rocking a neighbor's baby as I study.

Studying the making of wrapped rice.

Studying the voting process.

Our curriculum is similar to the language learning we all do as children.  The first of four levels or phases consists of listening and pointing to objects when they are said, much like the “Where’s your nose” game we all play with children.  That is followed by trying to speak.  We answer the “What is this?” question with the objects previously studied.  The second phase adds the construction of sentences and the description of life activities around us.  This is where I, Erin, find myself currently.  John, on the other hand, has made it through the third level of interviewing people for their life stories and retelling them.  Now he is working hard on the fourth level.  He has interviewed people on a variety of topics and retold many of these as persuasive type essays.  Please think of us both as we continue to learn language and culture.  We hope to be evaluated in August on our abilities.  

As I watch my children learn both English and the other languages spoken around them, I have been humbled and at times encouraged.  Children as they learn language listen, mimic, and try to speak, even if sounding foolish.  They don’t care.  Their goal of communicating is so much more important than sounding foolish that they try, they mimic, and they use what they have heard and learned.  If only I could care less about how I sound and whether I'm right or not.  

Living in Tension

Living overseas brings many experiences where cultures may clash.  Through language and culture learning we adapt, shedding aspects of our home culture, and incorporating new to us actions from our host culture.  We know we can never completely shed our home culture, but without incorporating aspects of our host culture life overseas would be much more difficult than it already is.  Evan more so, our ultimate goal would greatly be hindered if we did not incorporate the culturally specific and appropriate ways of interacting with people around us.  As we aim to build relationships and communicate His heart clearly, we find ourselves living in tension, the tension of priorities, the tension of how we were brought up versus how life is around us now, and the tension of our situation versus the situation of others. 

With our new routine, I, Erin, have been spending my mornings with neighbors.  As I gain new cultural experiences and learn language, I am frequently faced with the choice of consuming food and drinks.  It is customary to serve guests at your home coffee or tea.  In addition to drinks, if you are eating, you offer your guests food as well.  It also greatly honors the host to consume what has been served.  Tension arises within me during these situations as I desire to honor and respect my host, yet know the manner in which the dishes were cleaned, the food prepared, and which water was used for the coffee.  In each of these situations I have to revisit my priorities; to build relationships and honor those around me, or maintain my health at all costs.

Observing and participating in making a traditional pastry.

Spending time with a neighbor; doing what she does.

Smoking Fish

Observing men preparing to go to sea.

We recently returned from a trip to the big city.  This most recent trip was to watch one of the soccer teams John works with compete in a multi-provincial tournament.  The soccer team unfortunately did not continue on, but our time in the big city was also spent in fellowship with co-workers, shopping for dairy products we can’t buy in Barat, and enjoying a little down time.  When we return from these trips we often find ourselves unpacking our shopping bags underneath the watchful eyes of our neighbors.  The financial difference between our neighbors and us is already very evident.  Our children have more than one pair of shoes, they have multiple toys each, we all have individual mattresses, on bed frames, to sleep on.  Not to mention the finances to travel 6 hours away and stay in a hotel for the weekend.  Many of our neighbors rarely go down town to the central market because of the expense of a public bus.  Again tensions arise in me when we are gifted squid or fish by a neighbor recently back from the sea.  I know these gifts are a large percentage of their income from their 3 or 4 days out fishing.  Yet, I can choose to take part in the manner in which they share and repay for using our water or barrowing our tools, even though I know they need it more than I do, or I can be disrespectful by refusing their gift.  

The two soccer teams John works with.

The team in yellow and blue continued on to the multi-provincial tournament.

The tournament in the big city.  

The stadium was recently constructed for the professional soccer team.  

Evangeline posing with a few shy soccer players.

 

Another area in which I often face tension is in the area of health and medicine.  I am thankful to have been trained as a nurse.  It has been very useful for our family and in helping a number of people.  As people know I am trained nurse, they often come to our house seeking advice regarding their ailments and to have their blood pressure checked.  I thoroughly enjoy all things medical and the opportunity to help people.  I am thankful though there are also walk in clinics and a hospital here as I could spend a great deal of my time in this area.  One day I may increase the time I spend in the arena of health and medicine.  But as my current priority is language learning, I have to find ways to help those I can, love on them in this way, but also refer them on to be helped by others.  In all reality my ability to effectively help those around me is greatly hindered by my inability to communicate.  How do you explain to someone the concept of germs and disease transmission by using words they have never used before even though they may be in their national language?

Really our lives as believers are lives of tension.  We currently live on this earth, though it is not our eternal home.  We have daily chores and tasks we must attend to, but they in themselves our not our ultimate goals.  We have been made new, yet we continue to live in  imperfect bodies, which often desire to do selfish things.  In all these areas, I must remember to lean on the “author and perfecter of our faith” and that we are enabled, “given us everything we need for living a godly life.”

We've been spending many afternoons riding bikes!

Cassava field on the right and boat building facilities on the left of the road.  

This is the boys' favorite place to ride.  There are few onlookers, a slight hill, and a nice smooth road.

Thankful

   As we continue to settle back into life here in Barat, we continue to chip away at little projects.  Our water pump has officially been fixed.  This came at the perfect time as the city water was less consistent this week.  The returned consistency of the water pump enabled us to have water in our house though the city water no longer flowed.
   The boys seem to have gotten back into the flow of homeschool and local school for Whitman.  Though John and I are adjusting well to our new schedules, John feels a great deal of pressure to fit in all his foundation work, language learning, and teaching two English classes in the week day afternoons.  
  During our second week back, we added a trip to the local Emergency Room into our re-adjustment to the culture.  Caedmon had fallen against our coffee table while the boys were roughhousing in the living room.  The manner in which Caedmon fell resulted in a 1.5 inch long gash on the back of his head.  The size and location of the wound definitely needed stiches.  We wrapped it up well, and Caedmon and I took off on the motorcycle to the hospital.  A neighbor and her husband followed us to offer assistance.
   At the hospital we were offered very prompt, good service.  After about an hour, Caedmon had 5 stiches and we were on our way home.  Our neighbors were an amazing help.  They did all the running around to get prescriptions from the pharmacy and manage the admitting and billing papers.  Though the facility and process at the Emergency Room was quite different than in the States, the nurse who did the stitching was very skilled.

 Though I recently learned to stitch wounds, I did not have the supplies, nor would mine have looked as nice.

I did remove the stitches at home myself.  Caedmon was a very brave patient!

  We were are so very thankful that Caedmon didn't break any more than just skin, nor did he have a concussion from bumping his head.  Knowing the vast difference in medical opportunities here I am constantly challenged to trust the One in ultimate control.  We felt very blessed this incident was relatively minor, we had access to the needed medical care, and Caedmon's head has healed up beautifully!

Our Return to Barat

We have safely returned to Barat.  Aside from the usual exhaustion and jet lag from transcontinental flying, the trip went well.  Evangeline showed the most trouble sleeping on the plane as she woke up multiple times crying until she was walked back to sleep.  

In an Airport

Oh, the places we sleep.

We had a stop over in mainland Asia.

We Arrived

When we arrived back to our ‘newly’ built house the evening of January 28^th, we were pleasantly surprised by the state of things inside.  We were unsure how the house would fare closing it up and leaving it unattended for seven months in a humid climate.  Thankfully we found only a light layer of dust, what seemed like a hundred cockroaches, and interior doors that no longer fit well in their frames.  The cleaning that night was quick and simple.  We even still had bug spray in the cupboard!  Throughout that first week we found other unexpected, but small, items needing tending.  Our LPG hook up to our stove wasn’t working, our water pump to bring water to the house from our tank was being temperamental, and our screen doors had some massive holes.  Thankfully the interior doors and gas connection have been fixed.  On top of that we have been blessed to have consistent city water running meaning we have not had a need to use our pump at all, which has been looked at twice.  We have even purchased a motorcycle, giving us personal, consistent, and reliable transportation.  

Evangeline's first helmet.  She loves it!

As our house is in great condition, we have returned to our main work here in Barat.  As we adjust to being back, we are trying a new schedule to enable me, Erin, to hit language learning a bit harder.  So far this consists of John watching Evangeline and overseeing Caedmon and Whitman in their independent school work during the mornings.  I then spend the morning hours out in the community observing and interacting with the local culture and meeting with language helpers for more formal learning.  In the afternoon we switch.  I teach the boys their new homeschool material, and care for Evangeline while John takes care of foundation business or participates in language and culture learning.  Two weeks into this new schedule we all seem to be adjusting well, though Evangeline is still learning that though the boys are home, during homeschool they cannot play.  One disappoint in this area is local schooling for the boys.  We intended to have them both attend the local elementary school here, but only half time as their homeschool load is increasing.  The school principal did not consent to half time participation for the boys.  As Whitman’s second grade class gets out at 10:30am, we decided to keep him at the school but pull Caedmon out completely. 

Neighbors have been very accepting and accommodating of me as I spend time with or observing them doing daily chores.  I also have been given a great attitude in this, which is a huge praise as language learning is not my favorite pastime.  John has been busy applying for the foundation he works for to have status with the local Education Office in hopes of enabling additional visa options in the future.  He has also begun holding scrimmages for the Foundation’s Soccer School and added a second location for the literacy program.  We are excited to see these programs grow and very thankful to have great local employees to give many responsibilities to.  

One afternoon we heard a bunch of yelling.  Upon looking out the kitchen window, we saw a house being moved. 

We went down to join in.  

The men helped move the house, while all the women and kids stood by watching and hollering.  

Though I recognize life continues while we are away it still surprises me to see the changes upon returning.  Many neighbors had babies, a few new homes have been built, and one close neighbor was on her death bed when we returned.  John took time the night of our arrival to visit the ill neighbor.  Sadly, she passed away the next morning.  She was a grandmother of two and a mother of five, one of whom is still in elementary school.  Two days later her third grandchild was born.  It was a very sad thing to see upon our arrival, a reminder of our reason for being here and the urgency of the task. 

Home Safe

19 days and 16 states in the middle of winter in a 10 year old vehicle with 170,000 miles on it...

and not a single weather delay nor mechanical issue. Praise God with us.