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Valentine’s Day

I, Erin, am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day as it seems so very commercial.  Besides shouldn’t we be showing love on a daily basis!?  Since getting married, we haven’t done much for Valentine’s Day either as our Wedding Anniversary is on the 18^th.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not totally against the day.  I absolutely love the boxes filled with various types of unknown-until-you-bite-into chocolates and I will always accept flowers!  Trying to be intentional with our boys though, I looked up a little more about Valentine’s Day.  Apparently it originally was to honor a man who long ago married men and women in Rome though the Emperor at the time did not agree with the practice as he wanted men ready to join the army.  Further more, as we try to teach our boys about love I couldn’t find any glaring reason not to do a little celebrating! 

On a side note, as I searched for the origins of Valentine’s Day I came across a quote from Maya Angelou that stuck out to me, “Yet it is only love which sets us free.”  Isn’t that true, the ultimate act of love…

Decorating Cookies

 

Caedmon decorated over half of the cookies.

 

Dinner

So we made cookies and pizza.  Only to find out later the Mayor in a neighboring province banned all Valentine’s Day celebrations.  Not sure how this all turned out, but he was concerned for the negative influence on the morality of the youth. 

 

Anniversary

The following Thursday brought John and my 9^th Wedding Anniversary.  John surprised us, the boys got to partake too, with a one night stay at a hotel with a pool!  As always it is nice to get away, swim in a clean pool, not cook, relax in air conditioning, and enjoy cable TV.  The following day we got picked up by a new friend.  He and his family invited us to visit a river for the day.  It is a well known spot to play in the river and eat fruit.  Thursday was a holiday, Chinese New Year, so the boys didn’t have school and our friends did not have work.  So we piled into two cars and drove about 30 minutes inland.  It was a beautiful spot, with thousands of trees.  There were chocolate, Durian, Langsat, and Rambutan trees all over.  The season for these fruits has just begun so we ate a lot of fruit in between swimming in the river.  The water was very refreshing as it was quite cold. 

It was an enjoyable day, though not the most relaxing as cultural differences lead to the local’s definition of a good time being quite different than outs.  For example being an official holiday the place was quite crowded, resulting in a lot of picture taking.  People here always recommend we see sites on holidays or Sundays because there will be ‘a lot of people.’  It was a beautiful spot, but surrounded with tarp covered wooden huts.  These were great for a shaded place to sit, but they didn’t add much to the natural atmosphere.  Then there was garbage, everywhere, thankfully though I didn’t notice any floating in the river, except the occasional Durian skin. 

On the way home, one of the cars had a mechanical problem.  We were still 15 minutes outside of town where we might find a mechanic.  So we piled out of the cars and stopped-in at the wife’s sister-in-law’s sister’s house.  The women and children sat and chatted while the men took the other car to the closest, and open as it was a holiday, repair shop to buy a part.  Upon returning to the car, they fixed it, and we were on our way again.  Amidst the unexpected aspects of the day and cultural differences, it was quite nice to see a different part of our province and spend time with some new friends!

Stopping at a fruit stand to buy more fruit. 
Durian on the far left.  Rambutan hanging and in baskets top and middle.  Langsat in bowls on bottom. 
 

I had never seen the above fruits prior to moving here so I don't know the English equivalent.  Here are my own description:

Durian: A large, slightly smaller than a melon, and very spikey fruit with a strong smell.  The fruit is white or yellow surrounding large seeds in bunches of 3-4 within sections.  The taste is acquired, sweet, and something oniony or garlicky to it. 

Langsat: Small yellow fruit.  It has sections like an orange, but the meat is white and more like a grape with a hint of a grapefruit flavor.  Watch out for the seeds as they are very, very bitter.

Rambutan: Similar to lychee, but larger.  The fruit skin is red with big, stiff hairs.  The meat is white and similar to a grape as well, but much sweeter.  The seed resembles an almond. 

A Full Weekend

After last weekend Caedmon said, "Next weekend let's do less activities."  Though we had a very full weekend, the boys for the most part were champs. 

The official holiday celebrating the birth of the majority's most famous prophet occurred in January.  In our province each town or neighborhood celebrates the holiday on a different day, so celebrations are still going on.  Due to two previous engagements, we could not attend the main event on Sunday so our host invited us to the opening event Saturday Night.  The small public transportation vehicles do not run after 6pm, so between a barrowed a motorcycle and our host picking us up, the four of us traveled about 15 minutes north of town. 

A stage, chairs, couches for special guests, and a tent was set up right next to the beach. 

Children in traditional dress. 
When children finish learning to read Arabic and have read through the WHOLE holy book, they are rewarded with a ride through town on a dancing horse.  The kids celebrating this achievement are usually between 7-10 years old.  They were in attendance Saturday for the opening and were to ride the horses Sunday. 

Just sitting and watching.  The boys were less than interested. 

As with most events, things got started about an hour late.  There was a welcome, a holy book reading, and opening speeches.  Part way through the first opening speech, about 10pm, Whitman lost it and we decided to leave.  Our host felt so bad, kept apologizing, and sent us home with multiple boxes of cake, even though it was our child who was having difficulty. 

Sunday we were invited to a friend’s get together outside of town.  After about a 30 minutes drive we found ourselves in the middle of vegetable fields on the top of a mountain with a view of the sea to our left and right.  We had lunch and enjoyed the surroundings. 



Stopping for gas: bottles on right.



The Road There

The road getting narrower and steeper. 

Vegetable gardens in the mountains.

Chiles

Our View

Shallots

Grilling Fish

Cell phone coverage was still available! 
All the food was brought with us: fish, coconut rice, fruit soup, and fried dough filled with carrots and potatoes. 

Sitting in a small shelter with our friend who invited us . 

Who are those boys?
Occasionally Caedmon will pose for a picture, but Whitman never will. 
Completely on their own they posed for these. 



Posing, even amidst the hated cheek pinching. 
Wild pigs are a big problem for farmers. 
This was a statue someone made, possibly to warn other  pigs of their potential fate if found in a garden. 

More Smiles

Terraced Fields

John on our transportation there and back. 

Long sleeves and pants for the motorcycle ride.  It was NOT cold. 
John and Whitman actually ended up with sunburns. 

The ocean in the distance.

We had also been invited to a neighbor’s family event the same day, but upon returning at 3pm we had missed it.  We stopped by our neighbor's to apologize and visit.  We were served food from their event, coconut rice, chicken, and fish.  That evening our host from the night before brought us coconut rice and grilled fish. 

It was a day full of beautiful sights, time with people, and eating lots of fish and rice. 

For dinner I made waffles! 

 

Form versus Meaning

When we first studied the question of form versus meaning it was in the context of language.  If you have learned a second language you know much of language cannot be translated literally.  For example the most common question we receive whenever we leave our house is literally translated, "Want go where?"  Their meaning is, "Where're you going?"  In English we don't use the word want and it would sound quite funny to leave out the subject you. 

After looking at the context of language, we were challenged to bring the issue into the context of culture.  Are the things we do just cultural or dictated by truth.  Some of these are easier to answer than others, such as how to put on a wedding: cultural!  How to dress?  Slightly more difficult, but mostly cultural.  Here I do not dress as I would in my home culture for it would be very disrespectful, therefore I am guided by truth, choosing to be respectful to their culture and cover up a little more (though it is sooo hot.)

Recently John and I discussed a different culture versus truth question: fish. 

Recently I bought and cooked fish for $2.
John would be happy eating fish daily, if only I could become more comfortable with buying and cooking it. 

 Fish is a main staple here.  Chicken and beef are for the rich.  I get a kick out of telling people that fish in the States is expensive, more like rich people's food.  I rarely buy fish because I just don't have a lot of experience cooking it, especially bone-in, whole fish.  Recently our neighbors have all been seeking food options other than fish, or at least discussing it, but not because of a spike in price. 

In the past couple weeks a total of 6 bodies have been found on our coastline from a plane crash that occurred in December.  Unfortunately the bodies were found in pretty bad shape, leading many to conclude they had at least been nibbled on by fish.  Therefore, there is great concern in our community about what the fish, one might eat, ate prior to being caught.  When I first heard this I laughed it off, thinking people were joking.  Some were, others are serious and getting tired of tofu and tempe as alternatives.  I don't know much about fish, the various types, and their various diets, but I have heard the term bottom feeder and know there are those that just swim along with their mouths open eating whatever enters.  So, I am sure I have eaten fish that have eaten many things that I would not eat myself.  But all this talk led John and I to discuss the matter of culture versus truth one day when we were unable to order fish at a local restaurant we frequently visit. 

Do our neighbors understand the process of digestion?  Is there a difference to them between a physical body and a spiritual body?  Do our actions here in this world, towards a corpse, effect the one who died or us?  How directly or indirectly are we affected by what an animal we eat has already eaten?  Do the things that go into our bodies make us clean or unclean?  John and I know where we stand with all these questions, but we still have a lot to learn about the views of our neighbors.  This has been very interesting, sometimes a little funny, and occasionally a little gross to think about.   

Search Teams Being Deployed

The search for the remaining bodies and plane parts has been localized to the crash site, over 600 miles away.  After local fisherman found passenger and plane remains, a search began in our province. 

Wedding Preparations

This month John and I will celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary.  Thinking back to my wedding, I might have changed a few decorations or simple event items, but all in all with the help of friends, family, and different businesses it all went very well.  If I had to plan or put on a wedding here though I would not know what to do. 

Last Friday a local friend invited me to participate in the preparations for a neighborhood wedding.  We have attended countless wedding in this country, but this was the first time I got to see first hand the preparations that go into the event.  The wedding took place on Saturday, but preparations began the preceding Thursday.  Friday morning about 8:30am my friend picked me up.  I was told to bring a knife, but nothing else.  I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, but my friend was wearing pants, long sleeves and a head coving.  This was noteworthy as my friend, who sells fried bananas on the side of the road daily, usually just wears shorts, a t-shirt, and no head covering.  Head coverings are often worn when dressing up to go out, so I wondered if I was a little too dressed down. 

 

Living room at the bride's parent's house.

Upon arriving to the bride's parent's house, we were told to first have tea and cake.  The living room was already decorated for the wedding.  There were at least 10 plates of various pastries provided specifically for those helping. 

Decorations
The stage is for the bride and groom.

Getting Started

After tea and cake we all moved to different locations in and around the house.  My friend and I started by making batter for a folded pancake type pastry.  At first I thought this was an odd choice for wedding pastries.  I soon found out I was justified in my surprise.  These pastries and at least half of the other preparations that morning were intended for lunch for all the workers, that same day. 

Woven Palm Frons
To be filled with rice, then cooked in a large pot of water

On the Floor
All work, chopping, slicing, mixing, etc., was done on the floor.
 In the back ground are clean dishes for that day's lunch and the weekend's events. 

Counter Space
The floor definitely provided more work space than all of the counter space in the kitchen, but it is still challenging for my clean and healthy oriented self. 

The Men's Work
To prepare for the wedding, it was the men's job to cook the rice and the water (still not sure what the water was for, maybe just making it potable).  I have seen men help with the grilling of fish and there are various food stalls that have men as cooks.  But in general in this culture, men DO NOT help in household kitchens.   

Everything from Scratch
We took the skins off of peanuts, then crushed them with a mortar and pestle.  This was for our folded pancake pastry. 

My hand after taking skins off peanuts.  Hands were usually just wiped off on a cloth or rinsed off in a bowl of water.  I rinsed mine a couple times in running water, but soap was no where to be found. 

Washing Dishes
These ladies served all morning washing dishes... on the floor too!  The one water faucet they used is blue and green on the far right towards the top of the brick wall. 

Cooking
We cooked our pastry on the left while another lady fried tempe on the right, again just for our lunch.  We started cooking standing up, but not long afterwards we moved the two burner stove to...THE FLOOR, so we could all sit.  I admit it was much more comfortable. 

On the Porch
These women sat on the porch slicing, chopping, and prepping food. 

Cooking Chicken
At least 100 chickens were bought for the wedding.  All of which came dead and de-feathered, but whole. 



A Neighbor and I
We were waiting to make a dessert with the brown balls made from palm sugar and coconut, to the left. We needed coconut milk which had not yet been made: pressed out from freshly grated coconut. 

Cooking more Chicken

A Large Mortar and Pestle
My friend, who invited me, pounding grated cassava into a fine powder.

Mixing spices into chopped, deboned chicken.

Chicken to be skewered. 
After seasoning the chicken, it was divided among trays so a large group of us could put four pieces on each skewer. 

Skewered Chicken
This was the first thing I helped with that was actually for the wedding. 
 

I left the preparation party about 1:30pm and did not return, though my friend and many neighbors did. 

Saturday the four of us attended the wedding event at mid-day.  It was in our complex so it made for a short walk.  It also made for a very loud day as music was played during the event at mid-day, then again at the 'night reception' until about 12:30am.  The funniest thing was I never say the skewered chicken on the buffet line, maybe it wasn't for the main event after all, ha!