Farewell Party 2 and 3

On Sunday we held a farewell party specifically for the boys' and their friends from school.  We invited their individual classes to an indoor soccer arena for two hours, then ate lunch together.  Unfortunately the week prior to the planned party Whitman's class was on break and at least half of Caedmon's class did not attend.  All but three teaches traveled to another island for a continuing education type opportunity.  So, the more rowdy kids were asked to stay home and the preschool group was put on break.  We did not have addresses to mail invitations, much less names of the kids' parents.  Thankfully the teachers that remained provided us with cells phone numbers for many of the parents. 

On Sunday about 50 people, kids and their parents, came.  The kids mostly just kicked balls around for two hours.  At one point John tried to organize a small game, but it lasted only about 10 minutes.  Caedmon and Whitman, along with their classmates, thoroughly enjoyed the time!

 

The girls mostly just stood around holding balls

Moms taking pictures!

Classmates and Friends

Silly boys

Two of Whitman's classmates.

That same afternoon, we were thrown another farewell party.  Last year John taught an English class for a semester at a local college.  Many of his students have enrolled at the academic center in Barat to further their English abilities.  These students prepared food for a small party at the beach.  We ate, chatted, took pictures, and the boys and I went swimming.  It was a lovely afternoon. 

The student in the middle has become John's language helper over the last month.

All of the food was prepared by one student and her mom. 
Then they all brought it all on their motorcycles!

As people came to our first farewell party they brought traditional, hand woven, sarongs for us as souvenirs.  We have had at least 3 other friends, who were unable to attend, stop by our house to say good bye.  They also brought sarongs.  The funny part is we had already bought at least 8 ourselves.

The gifted sarongs.
The silk boxed patterned ones are traditional to this island.  Where as the blue one on the far left is batik traditional to the capital city island. 

Palm Sugar, wrapped candy, and the remaining cookie-crackers.
Clockwise from the top.

Along with the sarongs, so far we have been gifted 5kgs of palm sugar and 8kgs of wrapped palm sugar-coconut-rice candy by neighbors.  We already ate most of a package of cookie-crackers that taste like waffle cones as we didn't think they would make the trip.  We are also expecting durian spread and fried shallots from other neighbors.  I am often humbled by the customs and generosity of those around us here.  We are not sure if it will all make it through customs, but I am so touched everyone seems to make the effort and spend the money to send us back with a piece of Barat!

Farewell Party

On Sunday we threw ourselves a going-away party.  This was not at all considered odd as we live in a culture where YOU treat your friends to a meal on your birthday, instead of being treated yourself.   

About a week prior, I mentioned to our neighbors the desire to throw a party, which typically consists of inviting people over to eat.  We talked about when and what food I wanted to serve.  One neighbor even volunteered to help me cook.  The Thursday before, my neighbor gave me a list of ingredients to buy with the corresponding amounts: 1 kg of this, 1 Liter of that, 2 bunches of this, 2 packets of that.  Originally I had decided to order the wrapped rice, but after discussing the shopping list she said her and her husband would just make it themselves.  Then I asked how many coconuts to buy for the coconut milk we needed, to this she replied, "Oh no, don't worry, my husband is climbing coconut trees tomorrow.  He will get enough coconuts for you too.  At the same time he can gather palm fronds for the wrapped rice."  After trying to make certain this would not be too much for her to do, I agreeded.  I was doing the shopping, she was helping me to cook on the day of AND making 100 pastries AND 100 individually wrapped rice packets AND providing the coconuts.  

Saturday night prior to our party I slept rather well though I had no idea what to expect the next day.  I went to bed knowing we had invited more than 60 people, our couch can seat five squished together, floor space is limited, and I have 11 bowls (soup was on the menu), and 12 spoons.  On top of this John's substitute at the academic center was coming to town for one day, Sunday, to be oriented as his plans changed and he wouldn't make it to Barat before we leave.   

Sunday morning I was up in time to go for a run and buy pastries for my helpers; I knew two for sure would be coming. 

Pastries and cups ready for tea for my helpers.

My first helper arrived at about 8:30.  We got to work on peeling the 54 hard boiled eggs.  Then as my neighbor still had not showed up, we started peeling the 1/2 kg of shallots.  Afterwards, I went around back to my neighbor's house to 'call' for her.  Literally I stood in front of her house and yelled her name (not rude, just the common practice).  She came to the window with dough in her hand.  After a short conversation in which I clarified the party was at 1pm not 4pm, we moved all she had done to my house to get started on the soup. 

Hard Boiled Eggs & Shredded Chicken (from 4 chickens)

1/3 of the pastries waiting to be fried.
Filled with noodles, carrots, potatoes, and seasoning. 

Wrapped Rice

The Cook (in red)

Peeling and Slicing...on the floor of course. 

Shallots, lemon grass, garlic, and large chili peppers.

Blended Spices
I had to barrow a blender that morning, as mine had broken a few days before.

You know the joke people say when you have to wait awhile for meal at a restaurant..."Did they have to go out and kill the cow first?"  That is how I began to feel when it came time for the coconut milk.  After slicing the spices, I was told to blend them while the other ladies went out back to open the coconuts.  These coconuts were picked from the tree, then they were split open, the meat taken out,  and then shredded, all for coconut milk.  I've seen people hand shred coconuts before so I was expecting the next hour to be devoted to that.  I was wrong.  Instead we took the bowl of coconut meat down the street about 5 blocks.  There the lady had a machine to finely grate the meat.  Though it seemed weird to leave the house as there was still a lot to do, it was much easier than grating it by hand!

Taking off the husk/outer shell.

No pants!
We recently made a rule this little 2 year old can't come in without his pants on.

Taking the meat out of the hard shell.
Husks on the ground.

Coconut Meat
We used 5-6 coconuts.

Grating Coconut
This machine was in corner of the living room.

Upon returning from grating the coconut we were met by another neighbor wondering where we had gone.  She and another neighbor we all call 'grandma' joined us in the kitchen.  My 'cook' got to work on pressing out the coconut milk from the newly grated meat.  The rest of us took turns stirring the spices, slicing up all the wrapped rice, and cutting the eggs in half.  We used thread to slice the eggs in half as it creates a much smoother surface than a plain old knife (I'm pretty sure no one noticed).  At this point I made more tea and served the pastries I had bought earlier.

Cooking the Spices

Slicing wrapped rice.

Making the soup with the coconut milk and frying pastries. 
Grandma on the left.

Sometime during the process of cooking, bowls and small plates where brought over by my lovely neighbors.  About noon John came home from orientating his substitute, bring with him two boxes of water.  At 1pm our first 5 guests arrived.  I had not showered, but served them soup and pastries any way.  I felt very culturally appropriate as time is so flexible events rarely start on time and we have arrived at people's house right on time just to be met with, "Oh, I haven't showed yet," from the woman of the house.  All my helpers kept on working while I showered and changed.  Then the real craziness began.  All of the boy's teachers from their school arrived, about 14, along with at least 8 other guests.  We had benches set up outside, but it decided to start raining.  So at least 18 people crammed into our living room, other guests went across the street to sit in a neighbor's covered drive way, and the kitchen was full of 6 women cooking and making more pastries on the floor.  At some point I was asked if the washing machine could be moved to open the back door so dishes could be washed out back.  All I could think was that there was only dirt outside the back door and the kitchen floor was covered with food and people...how in the world could we moved it?  As soon as I said yes, everything was moved from the floor and a clear path was made. 

The washing machine moved. 
A sliver of the refrigerator can be seen far left; the washing machine is usually to the left of that.

Washing dishes out the back door. 

Another large wave of people came after all the teachers left and it continued to drizzle.  After the first wave of people we moved our coffee table outside to make more room for people to sit on the floor.  Aside from the craziness and the fact we probably looked a little ridiculous, it all went well.  I could not have done any of it without my neighbors.  The food was delicious, I had sufficient bowls, spoons, and dishes, and I had man power to make it happen.   Really more than anything my neighbors helped me pull it off in a culturally appropriate way.  The bowls of soup were served on top of small plates and brought out to our guests on a large tray.  They knew how to best tackle the piles of dishes, and keep up with serving guests, all by using their typical methods of washing dishes using large buckets of water.  And all of this, even moving the washing machine, didn't seem to phase them. 

Leftovers.
Coconut milk based soup, served with hard boiled eggs and chicken.



Fried leftover Pastries.

The funniest thing was that everyone thought we were leaving in the next day or two.  John was even asked, "So what time do you leave tonight?"  Everyone was surprised we would still be around for another 2 weeks.  We intentionally planned it on the early side; so in this we did not succeed in being culturally appropriate.  We learned these type of events are usually done right before someone leaves.   

 

Completely from Scratch

And by Hand.

With the many familiar western foods that we are not able to find here, I enjoy learning to make things from scratch.  This in reinforced by the availability of so many basic ingredients and spices.  Thanks to Martha Stewart, I came a across a recipe for Ricotta cheese.  In the western world we are so far removed from the process of how our food is made, I often forget that originally everything was made by hand.  The recipe made it sound rather easy, so I tried it!  Oh my goodness…it was easy and delicious!  Caedmon and Whitman are most familiar with mozzarella cheese as their exposure to cheese is limited to just that.  Consequently they were not impressed by my Ricotta. 

Ricotta Cheese
9 cups of milk resulted in about 2 cups of cheese

 After a few days of me being the only one eating the Ricotta, I began to worry it may all go to waste.  Then a friend suggested making lasagna, to which I replied, "We don't have lasagna noodles here."  Then she suggested making them.  So I got ambitious and made noodles.  Instead I decided to stuff the noodles turning them into ravioli.  Topped with a little meat marinara sauce, they were sooo good.  I admit I used canned tomato paste for the sauce and I did not have to grind my own beef, though getting ground beef is an experience worth another post!  But, I did have to pick some basil from my garden to season the cheese. 

Cheese Ravioli
Not beautiful, but the taste was wonderful!

 

My Little Garden
From the left: tomatoes, basil, bell peppers, and chili peppers. 
I'm afraid I won't get to enjoy the bell peppers before we return in April.

A few picture of the boys' recent fun.

Riding bicycles on our street. 
After friends showed up on bikes, Caedmon got his helmet and joined them.  A neighbor girl barrowed our pump for her bike and Whitman barrowed another neighbor's bike. 
Our street is rather narrow, so with six kids there were many near crashes and much laughter!

Our boys are a little weird as they are the only ones in helmets.
 

 Over the weekend I helped treat a burn on a six grade neighbor.  She was getting off her family's motorcycle when she got too close to the muffler.  She ended up with a 2" diameter burn on her lower leg.  I forced my services on her, knowing how sanitation is here compounded by the fact they believe every wound is best left open to dry.  In the frequent visits to my house, her siblings and our boys had fun playing.   

My patient's younger sister and Whitman

 

My patient's younger sister and brother with Caedmon

After three days treating her wound, she gave me the best compliment I've received since being here.  She said her mother said, "It turns out covering wounds is good." 

Maybe one day other things we share will be accepted as well!

April...

...will mark 3 years in country.  It will also bring us back to the States.  Yes, we will return to the USA April 7th. 

Two weeks ago we found out our passports have to be good for at least 18 months to get a year long visa.  Unfortunately the boys' passports are only good for another 16 months.  After the initial shock and dashed expectations, we adjusted our plans.  We will return to the states in April, then if all goes smoothly we will come back to this country the beginning of 2016.  In the four weeks we have left here in country, we have a lot to do.  Thankfully we have bought tickets, renewed our house contract, and even started the process over for the work visa.  Though we have to submit a new work visa application, we don't have to completely start from scratch. 

We still do have a lot left to do in the time remaining here in country.  Besides packing for our trip, we have to pack up our house to prevent as much mold as possible, we're planning a culturally appropriate farewell party, and I'm still homeschooling Caedmon.  Not to mention say good-bye to the many, many people we have began relationships with over the past 3 years. 

 

Please be thinking of us during this time and as we transition back to the states.  Please be thinking of our boys too.  Whitman has spent more of his life here than in the States, and John and I are their main teachers for American culture, yikes! 

The following is a little look into their world and what we hope to guide them through as they grow.  (I included a portion, but more can be found at tckid.com). 

Caedmon and Whitman are "Third Culture Kids": one who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside their parents' culture. 

 

You know you are a TKC when…

-“Where are you from?” has more than one reasonable answer.
- You’ve said that you’re from foreign country X, and if in America, your audience has asked you which US state X is in.
- You flew before you could walk.
- You speak two languages, but can’t spell in either.
-You had a passport before a driver's license.
- You go into culture shock upon returning to your “home” country.

-Your life story uses the phrase “Then we moved to…” three (or four, or five…) times.
- You don’t know whether to write the date as day/month/year, month/day/year, or some variation thereof.
- The best word for something is the word you learned first, regardless of the language.
- You get confused because US money isn’t colour-coded.
- You think VISA is a document that is stamped in your passport, not a plastic card you carry in your wallet.
- You own personal appliances with 3 types of plugs, and know all your appliances can shock you if touched in the right place.
- You believe that football is played with a round, spotted ball.
- You consider a city 500 miles away “close.”
- You haggle with the store clerk for a lower price.
- When asked a question in a certain language, you’ve absentmindedly respond in a different one.
- You miss the subtitles when you see the latest movie.
- You speak with authority on the subject of airline travel.
- You have frequent flyer accounts on multiple airlines.
- You know how to pack.
- You have friends from different countries.

A few specifics from this country that we will brief the boys on upon returning are:
-They don't need to hold and raise their teachers hand to their head every time they arrive at or leave school. 
-They don't have to take their shoes off to enter their class room or the bathroom. 
-They won't wear a uniform to school.
-You don't called other kid's mom "Jack's mom." For example, "Excuse me Jack's mom, may I have some water?"
-There are rarely Mangoes or Papayas, there are no Durians, Rambutan, Lansat, Lengkeng, or young coconuts in America. 
-And yes (in answer to a recent question from Whitman) all the teachers there speak English. 

I'm sure there are more, but for now we will return in April, then we can share all that you are anxious to know!

In a Village Far Far Away...

...the night we did spend!

It all began the preceding week when John and I signed up to participate in an inspirational program for elementary school children.  The program organizes volunteer visits by working professionals to elementary schools in hopes of inspiring young children to create aspirations for their future. 

Saturday we attended the orientation, which was just the beginning of my inaccurate expectations. 

Prior to this event, all we knew was that on Monday we would visit an elementary school relatively far outside of town to talk about our individual professions; something we expected to last only most of the morning . 

The orientation opened with each attendee introducing themselves and stating their profession, then there was a speech by the mayor.  It does not seem to be considered rude to continue to talk as someone else is talking, or presenting, as this goes on almost continuously, by adults, at all events we've attended.  This was followed by a short break with refreshments: small boxes containing water, candy, and two pastries.  We resumed by dividing up into 10 teams which would each visit a different school.  It was during this time we learned our 'village' school was 2 hours away.  As we needed to be at the school by 7:15am on Monday we all decided to spend Sunday night in the nearest town.  The process of group discussion and decision making seems to follow a pattern of asking the same question multiple times and time to allow each individual to give an opinion.  For example, "Should we drive up in the morning or spend the night?"  "Yes, let's spend the night."  A little conversation on where to do that, followed by, "Should we spend the night then or drive up in the morning?"  This continued many times.  One of the program committee members, a college student, volunteered to arrange accommodations for us all in the end. 

Then we were asked to plan, as a team, an activity to display the aspirations of the students at the school.  Following another similar question, discussion, question process, we decided to have the students write their work aspirations on ribbon, then tie it to a stick to make a sort of tree of aspirations.  This was Saturday and all the materials still had to be bought in time for us to leave Sunday afternoon.  After about 3 hours of orientation, picture taking, and discussing plans, we headed home.

Inspirational Program Orientation
We all sat on the floor, even the Mayor while he gave his speech. 
 

Volunteers

Needless to say Sunday was busier than I expected.  I usually spend part of Sunday preparing Caedmon's homeschool lessons for the week, but I threw that plan out the window.  Instead I washed dishes as our house help doesn't work on Sundays, packed for a night away, and did a little birthday celebrating as it was John's 33rd birthday!  John spent a large part of the day texting with and calling our team members to arrange transportation (yes on the day of) and a departure time.

 

Students from one of the English classes at the Education Institutes. 
They surprised us by bring over a cake for John, which we ate together, then took a lot of pictures. 

Helping dad blow out the candle!

A Barrowed Mini-bus. 

Finally at about 5pm on Sunday, it was arranged for us to barrow a government vehicle and John would drive!  The funniest thing was this vehicle was used for the government's family planning program.  The program encourages two children per family.  All over the vehicle was the slogan, "Two children are enough, participate in family planning!"  We found this pretty funny, nobody else on our team seemed to notice. 

We pulled out of town at about 6pm, picking up team members along the way.  We stopped for gas then retuned to one member's house to retrieve a forgotten item.  This resulted in all of us getting out and visiting for a bit at the house.  About an hour outside of town we stopped for dinner.  Another hour we arrived in the small town in which we expected to spend the night.  Instead we picked up our team leader and continued on to the village.  The village was 4 kilometers from the main road, but the last 100 yards or so we had to walk as it turned into a narrow and VERY steep road.  After picking up our team leader we were informed the lights go out in the village at ten.  By the time we arrived it was 11pm.  I'm still not sure how it got so late, but things do just take longer here. 
We walked up the road by the light of the moon.  John and I each carried a boy as they had both fallen asleep in the bus.  It was amazing how well the moon lights things up when there are NO OTHER lights. 



We were shown to the school principal's house where our team of 9 would stay.

 

Refreshments at the Principal's House
We were served coffee and Durian (on the table), and talked.

Also served Lansat

Our Sleeping Arrangements - Caedmon sleep away in the morning.
We were graciously given a room upstairs for our family. 

Whitman waiting for the bathroom in the kitchen area.  

High school girls getting ready at 6:30am for their 4km walk to school.
 

View from our room.

Monday morning we walked 10 meters to the elementary school, which is the only school in the village.  The children, about 50, began the day with raising the flag and singing various national songs.  



Students lined up for singing and flag raising. 

The principal on the left.  Various teachers in green and program volunteers

A friend in the school bathroom.

After raising the flag the kids entered their respective classrooms.  There were 6 class rooms, one for each grade.  I, Erin, began in the 2nd grade class.  I presented about being working as a nurse.  I then showed then my stethoscope and had each student listen to Whitman's heart beat.  Whitman was a great helper, even piping in every once in awhile to answer questions I asked.  Caedmon helped John present about working as an electrical engineer.  Other volunteers shared about being in the army, working as a computer technician, and being a teacher.  We had about 20 minutes in each class.  After we presented to all the classes, we had the students write what they wanted to become on ribbons.  Then school finished and the school staff served us lunch of coconut rice and grilled fish. 

Hanging the student's ribbons on the school fence - instead of making an aspirations tree.

Caedmon in front of the aspirations fence.

School staff, volunteers, and a few students.

The school in the distance as we began our walk back to the bus. 



The View.
Chocolate trees in the foreground and mountains in the distance.



A Well
Residents either hauled water to their houses daily or pumped it up via hoses. 



Walking down was much easier!

A Volunteer
Glad to be done and going down.

The Mini Bus
Taken from the hill, which was a nice cement road, where as the road back out to the main road was dirt, gravel, and many ditches, off into the distance above. 



After lunch we packed up and headed out.  Then we found out we were stopping in the nearby town to meet up with the other 9 teams for a debriefing session.  This session took a couple hours as each team shared stories from their morning.  After wrapping up we headed home, stopping for dinner at a beautiful beach side restaurant just outside of Barat.  We'll take you there if you visit!

We made it home by about 9pm.  We showered, then went straight to sleep in our own very comfortable beds!