Our first night
on the southeastern island last week began with dinner at our friend’s house. As the guests we were asked to eat
first. As we ate, our hosted just
watched and continually encouraged us to eat more. Even after setting our plates down, as we ate
sitting on the floor, we were told to ‘please eat more.’ After dinner and a little conversation we said
goodbye and were seen out by our friend.
On the way to the car our friend told us we were going
to stop by his cousin’s house, thankfully just next door. After being welcomed in, we were served juice
(actually cold water with added fruit flavored syrup), then asked to please
eat. We politely declined again and
again after many attempts by our host to offer us more food. Our actions in the end were fairly disrespectful. Even if we had just eaten, which they all
knew we had, eating some of the offered food, however little, demonstrated
respect and value towards our hosts. Throughout
our trip we visited many homes and were constantly encouraged to eat or drink
more. One visit was to a guy’s house
with whom we had just spent the entire morning.
I, Erin, expected the visited was intended to introduce his family. When we arrived his family were just
leaving. Never the less we were asked to
please go inside, then they all left. We
then spent the next hour visiting with the same people we spent the morning
with, were served ‘juice,’ and many other small treats. Another unexpected visit occurred after lunch one day as we
were returning to the hotel to put the boys down for a nap. We were told our friend’s uncle was expecting
a visit from us and we were now going to stop by. After arriving at the house we were served
snacks and visited with his aunt for 15 minutes before we politely excused ourselves. The uncle had been taking a nap the whole time so we did not
even meet him. I am learning having
guests in your home is very important in this culture. The duration of the visit nor who is at home at
the time seems to be important. Having someone actually IN your home, even if
it is to just sit in your ‘guest room’ is very honoring. At times we are left completely alone while
the hosts leave to prepare snacks. The
constant encouragement to eat more is their way of hosting and caring for guests. Looking through my own cultural glasses I feel
pressured and unconsidered. Yet through culture
study I learn this is their way of loving on me and treating me with great
respect. This trip was a reminder as to
why we study culture along with the language.
If we can better understand where they are coming from we will be able
to better understand what they are communicating. Then one day we too will be able to
communicate clearly in a manner which truly speaks to them, not just with our
words but with our actions as well.
