Learning Culture

    Our first night on the southeastern island last week began with dinner at our friend’s house.  As the guests we were asked to eat first.  As we ate, our hosted just watched and continually encouraged us to eat more.  Even after setting our plates down, as we ate sitting on the floor, we were told to ‘please eat more.’  After dinner and a little conversation we said goodbye and were seen out by our friend.  On the way to the car our friend told us we were going to stop by his cousin’s house, thankfully just next door.  After being welcomed in, we were served juice (actually cold water with added fruit flavored syrup), then asked to please eat.  We politely declined again and again after many attempts by our host to offer us more food.  Our actions in the end were fairly disrespectful.  Even if we had just eaten, which they all knew we had, eating some of the offered food, however little, demonstrated respect and value towards our hosts.  Throughout our trip we visited many homes and were constantly encouraged to eat or drink more.  One visit was to a guy’s house with whom we had just spent the entire morning.  I, Erin, expected the visited was intended to introduce his family.  When we arrived his family were just leaving.  Never the less we were asked to please go inside, then they all left.  We then spent the next hour visiting with the same people we spent the morning with, were served ‘juice,’ and many other small treats.  Another unexpected visit occurred after lunch one day  as we were returning to the hotel to put the boys down for a nap.  We were told our friend’s uncle was expecting a visit from us and we were now going to stop by.  After arriving at the house we were served snacks and visited with his aunt for 15 minutes before we politely excused ourselves.  The uncle had been taking a nap the whole time so we did not even meet him.  I am learning having guests in your home is very important in this culture.  The duration of the visit nor who is at home at the time seems to be important.  Having someone actually IN your home, even if it is to just sit in your ‘guest room’ is very honoring.  At times we are left completely alone while the hosts leave to prepare snacks.  The constant encouragement to eat more is their way of hosting and caring for guests.  Looking through my own cultural glasses I feel pressured and unconsidered.  Yet through culture study I learn this is their way of loving on me and treating me with great respect.  This trip was a reminder as to why we study culture along with the language.  If we can better understand where they are coming from we will be able to better understand what they are communicating.  Then one day we too will be able to communicate clearly in a manner which truly speaks to them, not just with our words but with our actions as well. 

A Successful Trip

One month ago we attempted a trip to our friend's home on an a southeastern island.  Yesterday we returned home from a successful visit to this island in need. 
A tropical island, covered in palm trees, surrounded by clear ocean water, shown to us by our own personal tour guide (our friend) sounds like a dream vacation!  I, Erin, am still adjusting to the culture around us so the trip was much more a 'cultural experience' than a vacation.  Since our current goal is language and culture study the trip was beneficial and provided a great opportunity to watch for future possibilities, though very stretching (more in the following post).

the port as we left on a ferry

on the ferry with our friend

another seating option on the ferry

making friends on the ferry

exhausted from leaving at 5am and taking a 4 hour car ride + 2 hour ferry ride + 1 hour car ride

visiting historic/tourists sites: this in an ancient gong, one of a pair, left by explorers

traditional still house

people who gathered to... look at us

Visiting a friend's grandmother's house.  She lived about an hour outside the city, in a small village.

Caedmon in the entrance-way of the grandmother's house

inside the grandmother's house, a stilt house as well

guest and family room of the grandmother's house



we were served lunch at the grandmother's house: boiled cassava, boiled eggs, buffalo meat, vegetable in broth and oranges from the family garden

neighbor's house across the street

parakeet type birds, just hunted and most were still alive: for eating

visiting the family's garden

picking oranges

looking at pumpkins in the garden

a view on an hour bought ride to this adjacent island to enjoy a well known beach on an uninhabited side of the island

a fisherman

visiting our friend's house I noticed this neighbor wood working while his wife cooked over a fire

since coconut trees are in abundance, coconut meat is dried out over a small fire to be sold for processing into coconut oil

chopping the dried coconut meat to be sold

picking young coconuts for a treat

opening the coconuts, these women (cousins of our friend) were very skilled in this

collecting the coconut water

Caedmon helping to remove the young coconut meat

eating the young coconut meat with a natural spoon (from the outer shell)

A cousin's house, newly built.  Most newer homes are of brick and cement construction, though stilt houses are still built. 

Playing with small fish caught in the backyard river and making new friends.

Our friend's aunt, mother, and youngest sister. 

Whitman was content to be carried around and shown the chickens and dogs.  She was concerned he would be too hot under the sun and covered him with a sarong. 

A hillside grave yard.  According to the majority religion the head is placed towards the north with the feet facing south.  Then the grave is marked to last over time and decorated as one chooses.

Temporary markers on a new grave.  Two are used for females and one for males.  As family and friends visit the grave they shower it with flowers, leaves, and water. 

Happy 4th of July, Merry Christmas and Happy Thanksgiving!

Fireworks + visiting friends and family + eating all day = the biggest holiday of the year.  It is difficult to understand the celebrations we witnessed yesterday if we used our own cultural lenses, but that is why we are spending our time learning language AND culture.  This year we stayed in town and started our day like normal; early morning exercise and studying before the boys woke up.  I spent extra time outside this morning to capture a few pictures of the atmosphere on this holiday.  A special gathering began at 6:30am at all the local places of worship.  Very similar to special holidays in the States, attendance is at its peak, therefore everyone gathers outside.  Our complex became a parking lot, as did many roads.  It was such an interesting sight to see.  I, Erin, saw at least 3 different parents bring bouncy seats for their babies who were in tow. 

The four lane road at the end of our street became a parking lot in at least two lanes.

Women and children gather in the back half, while men gather in the front of a large parking lot the street from our complex.

complete with balloon sellers!

women in the usual dress for their place of gathering

people spilled out into the street to attend

men up in the front wearing traditional black or brown hats

visiting our friend's aunt's house

Our neighbors brought us traditional holiday food shortly after 8am.  Then at 9am we went to our host family’s house to eat with them.  After a couple hours we returned home to be picked up by friends to visit their house.  Prior to leaving we were invited in to our neighbors’ house, the ones who brought us food earlier, and were served a jello dessert and glasses of coke.  Shortly there after we left with our friends.  Our friends, actually their 18 year old son, 15 year old daughter, and 12 year son first drove us to their aunt’s house to visit and eat…again.  When we arrived at our friends house we were served another meal.  Then we enjoyed some relaxed time visiting.  We arrived home in the middle of the afternoon and were visited by another friend, this time I served them food and I just drank water.  So from 9am to 4pm we visited four homes, ate three meals, and drank lots of pop.

traditional cookies on the table, accompanied by glasses of coke

relaxing at a friend's house

The boys did very well visiting many new people who wanted to take their pictures.  It helped that they were constantly offered cookies and pop.  We went to bed, both the night before and night of, watching fireworks from our bedroom windows. 

 

food from our neighbors, from middle bottom going clockwise: bundled rice, beef, chicken with curry, and vegetables with coconut milk. 

 

Caedmon's 5th Birthday

Caedmon's birthday is in August, but it may as well be the same week as Christmas as tomorrow is the biggest holiday of the year here.  For the second time since moving here I, Erin, had to decide how we would celebrate.  We aim to make birthdays a big deal, hoping as we celebrate the boys’ births (and each additional year we are given) our celebrations at Christmas will make sense to them.  So, as Caedmon’s birthday fell before the end of the fasting month, again this year, we had a little party at the ‘break-the-fast’ time.  Most people travel to their parents’ or grandparents’ home for the Holiday so waiting until the weekend didn’t seem practical. 


The morning began with cinnamon rolls and presents.  Then we all visited an in door amusement park, which is actually pretty well done and quite quiet on a week day morning.  Caedmon had been waiting for this event since last year as he was aiming to be tall enough for a specific ride.  He was tall enough, exactly the 110cm needed.  For the evening, we invited a few neighbors, a friend’s family, and our host parent’s grandchildren to a small party.  We started at 5:30 with some games.  Caedmon’s favorite was ‘pin-the-coconut-on-the-palm-tree’.  Games are not common at birthday parties, unless it takes place at McDonalds, so most of the kids were too shy (or maybe too confused as I gave instructions in the local language) to play.  Everyone was a little more willing to take part in hitting the piñata, which the boys and I made earlier in the week.  We then all ‘broke-the-fast’ together with ‘ice fruit’ (literally translated), some traditional treats, which John bought, and birthday cake-in-a-cone.  Shortly after our guests left, with the exception of some neighbor kids who played with John until after Caedmon and Whitman where in bed.  The party was short and sweet, and hopefully enjoyable to all.  Aside from the games not being usual at birthday parties, presents are also handled very differently as they are not opened in front of the guests.  Caedmon had to wait until after all the guests left, which is very difficult for a five year old; after eating cake he kept wandering inside to look at his presents. 



encouraging kids to participate in a few games set up in our garage

Caedmon's turn hitting the piñata

 

after many light little hits, the piñata fell off the rope and was finally torn open and emptied by John

 

neighbor girls eating 'ice fruit' and birthday cake-in-a-cone

our host parents' grandsons, all our guests where girls until they arrived

 

Learning how to make local food here has been a treat.  Here is the recipe for the ‘ice fruit,' there are many versions, but this one is my favorite so far. 

Ice Fruit

½ honey dew melon (slightly unripe/crunchy)

3-4 cups young coconut meat
2 packages of agar-agar (or unflavored gelatin)
 ¼ - 1/3 cup melon syrup (similar to the syrups used for Italian sodas or coffee drinks)
1-2 cups water

       1)      Shred the melon and set aside.  Prepare the agar-agar according to the package.  Basically like making unflavored and only slightly sweetened jello. 

2)      Once the agar-agar/jello is set, cut into small chunks, ~¼ inch cubes.  To simplify this process I poured the liquid into a big cookie sheet to set up very thin.  

3)      Combine all ingredients.  Add additional syrup and water until desired sweetness and consistency.

4)      Ice is usually added instead of water, but I prepared ahead of time and kept them in the fridge until we were ready.

Enjoy! 

Fasting for a Month

     The beginning of July a month of fasting observed by the majority of locals here.  This practice  is taught by their belief system.  It is a testimony to their faith, regarded as beneficial for health, and helps one to better identify with those in need.  This month is also a time of spiritual renewal.  Increased focus is given to their regular daily practices, along with the addition of nightly addresses at their place of gathering. 

     In general life carries on as normal, though the overall pace of life seems to slow down.  People are less likely to do much during this time, so the neighbor kids aren’t outside as much and friends are less available for get togethers during the day. 

The majority of our friends and neighbors will wake up before dawn, around 4 am to eat as the fast for each day begins at sun-up.  Every morning, sometimes as early as 2:30am, our complex security guard walks around banging on a symbol, a bell, or even sometimes on our gate, the whole time yelling, ‘breakfast.’  Our friends and neighbors then abstain from food and drink until sunset, usually about 6:15pm (the official time is printed in the paper daily as it changes from day to day).  Typically the fast is broken with a very sweet fruit soup, like a liquid version of fruit salad.  Then a large meal is eaten. 

     Many allowances are given to those fasting.  Some absence from school is excused for kids partaking in the fast (yes school is in session, actually the new school year began about the same time).  There are also exceptions for certain people, such as children, women who are pregnant or menstruating, and the sick.  Many offices and stores shorten their business hours.  Our internet has been out for a whole week.  In the past problems seem to be resolved within a day of our reporting them,  this time it took a week of daily calling and three office visits. 

     Many small restaurants or food stalls are closed during the day, opening in the evening for the ‘break the fast.’  A visible sign of the current fast at larger restaurants are the curtains that are put up to keep customers from public view.  I, Erin, am still unsure if this is to protect the customers from awkwardness or those passing by from temptation. 
     Though there is a slower pace during the day, most places are extremely more busy at the ‘break fast’ time.  We tried to eat at Pizza Hut last week with a friend from out of town.  We arrived maybe 5:45p and there weren’t any available tables.  We were even denied when we asked to order take away.  Then we went home and tried to order delivery, the delivery line wouldn’t even answer the phone. 

The next day we ordered pizza to be delivered, an hour prior to the ‘break fast’ this time.  I am capable enough in language to be able to order at a restaurant, go shopping, and give directions.  Over the phone has always been more difficult for me to truly hear and understand.  Never the less I still use the phone.  So I ordered pizza.  Compounding the difficulty of hearing the person on the other line was the use of English throughout the conversation.  I have the hardest time understanding people that try to use English as I’m listening for local language words I already know, then on top of that the English words are spoken with a very thick accent.  After at least 10 minutes on the phone, I just consented to the order that was repeated back to me.  I thought we were going to get two large stuffed crust pizzas with some combination of pepperoni, mushrooms, green peppers, and sausage.  Well, we received two large stuffed crusted pizzas, each with pepperoni, mushrooms and sausage.  One also had green peppers.  The additional topping we (especially me since I did the ordering) were not expecting were potatoes.  Then the most disappointing aspect was the use of Thousand Island dressing instead of tomato sauce.  I have seen the menu and the unusual toppings that are offered (including corn, potatoes, and tuna fish), but the sauce was a new one.  We ate the pizza, but with some disappointment.  Next time I’ll let John order ;)