Schedules

John often wakes up before 5am.  I, Erin, wake up about 6am, and the boys follow about 15minutes later.  We get ready for the day, trying to push the boys out the door by 7am so as not to be late to school.  The boys return from school about 11am.  We eat lunch and then follow with homeschooling until about 3pm.  The rest of the afternoon is spent by the boys and I playing outside, interacting with neighbors, or just hanging out at home.  Dinner is a quicker and lighter meal in the evening, then the boys shower and are in bed by 8pm.  The rest of the evening John and I have spent just the two of us catching up or relaxing, as we are usually pretty spent by that time.  This schedule has worked pretty well in our home, but it does not always mesh well with the culture outside. 

Whitman and Caedmon playing outside. 

We recently covered our front yard/parking area with a palm frond roof. 

Locals, here in Barat, are up early like us, off to school and work early, then after lunch they take a nap, children and parents.  This nap then promotes a very late bed time.  Most of our neighbor children are up well past 10pm.  This also results in people stopping by our house, quite a lot recently, after 7pm.  Many events really get going about this time too.

Whitman at school, waiting to greet his teachers. 

(usually by 7:30am)

 A couple weeks ago we were invited to a groom’s pre-wedding party, the night before his ceremony.  We met our friends at their home at 5pm so we could all drive together in their car.  We ended up leaving their house after 6pm, and hanging out at the groom’s house, also the location of the event, until things got started, sometime after 7.  Though the event was interesting and a first for all of us, it was stressful as none of us had taken naps, Whitman almost turned into a pumpkin, and it all resulted in a later dinner and night than we are used to, all on a school night too. 

The groom, center, with two nephews. 

A small ceremony, performed by a couple key figures, was done in preparation for the wedding ceremony the following day.   

Food served after the ceremony. 

From top left: chicken, crunchy sweet noodles, fish cakes, shredded chicken, duck eggs, and curry in the middle. 

Watching the ceremony. 

Men sat on one side of the room, while the women sat on the other. 

The occasional event and altered schedule, even unplanned, doesn’t kill us and usually turns out just fine, but John and I frequently discuss how to adjust our schedule to better enable interaction with locals.  Unfortunately, aside from changing our largest meal to lunch, which enables me to spend more time with people in the afternoon/evenings, we are at a loss for how else to change our schedules.  This is a common dilemma we face in most aspects of life overseas; how do we adjust the way we do things, to enable people interaction, yet be sustainable by us for the long term. 

You know you live overseas when...

Skippy peanut butter is a real treat.  I, Erin, always tried to convince John we should only buy Adams peanut butter when we lived in the states.  I like the strong peanut flavor and especially the lack of added ingredients, namely sugar.  We are able, thankfully, to buy peanut butter here, but it comes in the smallest jars I’ve ever seen and with the added sugar.  Though Skippy too has added sugar, it was a nice treat the other day when John brought it home from the store… a taste of home. 

You could call it a 'travel size' jar of peanut butter. 

The jar is about 5oz.

You know you live overseas when…the answer to your husband’s question of, “Did you find ants in the rice?” was, “Only around the edges.”  I’ve gotten use to fishing bugs out of many of our food items, though it does still bother me occasionally.  I usually only do this with uncooked items and those not easily replaced.  So John was surprised when I answered him in this way with the cooked rice as it is so easy to come by here!

You know you live overseas when…you assume the itchy spot on your arm is a mosquito bite, then by the end of the day you are sure it is not, but unsure as to what it really is.  Thankfully it has not grown nor is it itchy anymore, but it is as red as ever.  Hopefully it is not another “Monster Inside of Us.” (see the May post)

A perfectly round red circle below my wrist; probably a bite, of some sort...?

It Took Two Years

Many aspects of life here in Barat just take more time as we lack many conveniences we are used to in the States.  Learning language and culture definitely takes time, but in some areas I still get surprised.  Our first year in Barat I didn’t use any beef in my cooking.  Finally, we discovered not only where to buy beef, but that we could also get it ground into hamburger.  I had a similar experience with chicken this week.  I usually buy a whole chicken once a week; it is slaughtered and chopped up while I wait.  It comes with the organs, neck, and all the meat on the bones.  A friend told me just last week, you can ask the butcher to take the meat off the bones, what a concept, I never thought this was possible.  Unfortunately, the first butcher I asked, just looked at me funny.  So this week I tried another butcher and I came home with the meat in one bag and the bones in another!  At first I thought of just pitching the bones, but I use chicken broth quite a bit, which I have to make from scratch, so the bones worked well for that yesterday.

The other incident that had not happened before, thankfully, was a semi-emergent visit to the local clinic.  We’ve visited the local clinic before, when Caedmon had an eye infection, to learn about malaria rates in Barat, and for a pregnancy check-up, but this time was different.  It was 9:30 in the morning, last Tuesday, when I received a call from one of Whitman’s teachers.  She informed me that she and Whitman where at the local clinic because he fell at school and split his chin open.  It was a small wound, but the nurses at the clinic recommended at least 2 stitches.  The teacher was calling because Whitman would not let them stitch him up without me or John there.  The phone conversation began with the teacher apologizing for bothering me.  Thankfully I was given a great deal of peace and enough of a level head to ask which clinic they were at before hanging up.  I proceeded to place sleeping Evangeline into the carrier, grabbed my own first aid kit, and set off.  I rode a mini-bus downtown, then found a Pedi-cab to take me to the clinic.  I probably could have ridden the mini-bus the whole way, but I wasn’t exactly sure where the clinic was and I was sure the Pedi-cab driver would know. 

I arrived at the clinic and was quickly greeted by Whitman’s teachers.  They led me to a small room where Whitman was laying on a stretcher looking tired and concerned, but not crying.  After getting the full story from the teachers, I looked at the wound, which was no more than a centimeter in length and not too deep.  I decided to just use steri-strips to keep the would closed.  I’m still not sure what the nurses, who would have done the stitching, or his teachers thought of this, but it was small and from shadowing nurses at a hospital in the big city, I assumed the needle which they were to use to be dull from multiple uses (well sterilized though).  Whitman was very happy to not get stiches and we left within a ½ hour of my arrival. 

Brave Whitman

Steri-stripped

On the way home Whitman related how a friend at school had pushed him while they were sitting to recite prayers.  He fell forward, but didn’t realize at first that he had an “owie.”  He said, “I curled up like an egg and cried.”  Then when he got up everyone saw blood.  Two of his teachers took him on a motorcycle to the clinic, without his helmet which he did have at school.  Whitman said, “Even the teachers didn’t wear helmets," and "I got a little blood on one of my teacher's shirts, so she had to change."  The rest of the day Whitman was himself, only twice saying, “I wish I didn’t have this owie on my chin.”

It was a very smooth experience, we are thankful Whitman is well, that we were called by his teachers, and that they took such good care of him.  One teacher even returned to the school only to be replaced at the clinic by a teacher to whom Whitman is closer with. 

Baby Care - Cross Culturally

Evangeline is now 2 months old.  We are getting into a schedule and she is extending the hours she sleeps at night, reaching 8 hours twice.  She is also providing us with many opportunities to learn culture. 

Everyone in Barat, and in many other parts of this country, were very surprised that we would venture out of the house at first with such a small baby.  Most people here do not go out before the baby is 40 days old.  Granted, Evangeline did take her first airplane ride at only 3 days old making her a unique case even by U.S. standards.  Occasionally I, Erin, will go out with Evangeline to a neighborhood shop or to visit a friend.  People are worried she may get sick because she usually is without a hat.  At first we would take her outside in just a onesie, but due to people’s comments, we began wrapping her in a light blanket.  We have always worked by the principal that infants are best dressed with one addition layer than what we would be comfortable in.  In this climate I would be comfortable in nothing, so I figure Evangeline is fine in just a onesie.  The Barat people on the other hand think babies should be all wrapped up, including socks, mittens, and a hat, especially when outside. 

Some of the things we are seen doing have been met with comments such as, “I didn’t know you could do that,” or “Our parents always told us not to do that.”  This frequently occurs when we hold Evangeline in an upright position.  They hold their babies horizontally for at least a couple months as they fear for the safety of the baby’s head.  One friend told us that is could cause the child to become a hunch back. 

Mostly for small talk, people frequently ask me if I am breastfeeding and if we use a hammock.  All babies here are placed in a type of hammock hung on springs, then bounced to sooth and put to sleep.  It is used much in the same way baby swings are in the U.S. are, except there is nothing automatic about them, causing someone to always be tugging on the hammock to keep the baby bouncing. 

A few other differences we have learned are that many people do not use diapers, of any kind, for the first couple months.  One man mentioned chafing, where as another friend mentioned the remains of the umbilical cord as reasons.  Most baby girls get their ears pierced almost immediately.  Once neighbor told me I should make sure to get it done before her ear lobes become hard.   Every time there is a visitor to meet our new baby and congratulate us, they always bring a gift.  Gifts have consisted of clothes, mostly brightly patterned dresses, soap for us and Evangeline, and pillows.

 

Gifts

Not sure what to do with all the pillows!

Evangeline being weighed at a local clinic.

Yes, that is her in the sack.

Most of these differences are easy to just nod, smile at, and agree that yes we do things differently.  There have been a couple differences that are more difficult for me.  One, is that everyone wants to touch Evangeline, mostly on her face.  The second is even people who are sick, or very recently sick, will come to visit.  One lady with a cold and a girl who had a fever the night before came to visit.  Then a neighbor we all call ‘grandma’ came to chat with us while we were outside.  She proceeds to tells us all of how she has had diarrhea since the night before, all the while holding Evangeline’s hand.  These times it is ok to be a little more forward and tell people it is not ok to hold or touch her. 

All in all I am so thankful for Evangeline’s continued health and growth.

We also just celebrated Caedmon's 8th birthday.  Blessed by another year with Caedmon!

We started with cinnamon rolls before school.

We made a piñata.

Whitman taking a turn.

Caedmon's turn

Caedmon wanted vanilla and strawberry cake.

We ate cake with neighbors after the piñata broke.

Getting so big!

Daipers - Internationally

When we initially moved overseas, we brought all the cloth diapers we were using with Whitman at the time.  We immediately found disposable diapers to be available and cloth to be practical only depending your laundry situation.  Here in Barat we thankfully are experiencing a more consistent water supply than a few months ago, so we have been using our same cloth diapers with Evangeline ever since coming home from the hospital. 

 

Looking silly in cloth when first coming home.

 On the 11th of July we left Barat to fly out of the country to retrieve our work visa.  I packed one package of disposable diapers, which we use while traveling, for the initial part of our trip.  As we spent one day in the big city before flying out, I did not keep a close count on our diaper supply.  It turned out I put Evangeline in the last diaper before we left the hotel for the airport.  We kindly asked the taxi driver to stop at a convenience store on the way.  It turned out all the convenience stores we passed were on the other side of the median on the road we took.  We didn't ask the driver to make the multiple U-turns it would have taken to stop because we knew there was at least 2 mini-convenience stores at the airport.  Upon arriving at the airport we visited 5 different mini-convenience stores, only to find not a single one carried diapers.  At the last store John bought a package of female pads as a last resort to use as inserts.  I was frustrated and felt like a terrible mother in having to piece together a diaper for my daughter.  Thankfully after our 3 hour plane ride we found diapers, but our adventure didn't stop there. 

A few days later it was time to buy diapers again, so we visited a local grocery store in the country we were visiting in SE Asia.  As I selected diapers I was careful to avoid the "pull-up" style as these are sold in all sizes, even newborn, which we learned the hard way shortly after Evangeline was born. 

"Pull-Up" style diaper in size small.

Upon returning to our hotel, I went to change Evangeline's diaper and found yet again another style of diaper.  This time I had bought some sort of insert.  After the initial frustration, I had to laugh for these inserts were much like using the pads John had bought in the big city.  Finally, I did find disposable diapers with tabs to easily open and close, but boy do you have to be careful as you look through the various sizes and styles.

Diaper insert, complete with sticky patches to help it stay put. 

The small colored symbol is the key. 

I thought I had the right kind as I noticed the sides were not sown together as for the pull-up kind,

but I did not know I had to look for tabs.  Our lack of language ability in that country didn't help. 

We were accompanied through the whole diaper fiasco by my, Erin, parents.  They met us in SE Asia to meet their new granddaughter and return home with us to experience our life in Barat.   

We returned to Barat with a work visa in hand for John and year long 'tag-along-with-your-husband/father' visas for the kids and I.  The Father had definitely gone before to prepare the way.  We visited our host country's consulate on a Friday.  After filling out the required forms, we were told we could return that same day to pick up the visas.  This had never happened before.  The quickest we experienced was a two business day turn around.  We were blown away by this same day service!

Meeting Papa J

Trying the infant seatbelt with Grammy J

Seeing Sights

We found Mexican food!

Evangeline visited all the sights mostly asleep in the carrier.

Erin and her parents

Sight seeing with friends in Barat.

Erin's mom at a friend's house.

Papa J taking Whitman to school with John

Picking up Caedmon

School mates went crazy when I suggested taking a picture.

Picking up Whitman

A Full Week

We started the month off with a bang!  Caedmon and Whitman each attended their last day of school for the year on Thursday the 2^nd.  Then we all, along with our sponsor, traveled the hour south to the immigration office to apply for the last extension of our social-cultural visas.  After which our family traveled on to the big city to await the birth of our daughter.  We spent Friday the 3^rd relaxing and fellowshipping with friends.  That night I was checked by the doctor only to be told there were not any signs of labor approaching.  So we prepared to wait, my due date was the 10^th after all. 

About 1am the next morning I woke up with some bleeding (probably caused by the doctor visit) and very irregular contractions.  Eventually I went back to bed, only to be woken up again at 5am by my water breaking.  John, Caedmon, Whitman, and I piled into a taxi and headed to the hospital.  Contractions began again, but never became very regular.  By 8am the doctor ordered labor to be induced.  Regular contractions began at 8:15 and by 9:42 am on June 4^th Evangeline Aleta was born.  Overall giving birth overseas was a good experience with just a few noticeable cultural differences.  The most notable were, I was able to eat whatever I wanted right up until I gave birth.  When I was fully dilated, the nurses delivered Evangeline right away, they didn’t even try to have me wait until the doctor arrived.  The nurses, and doctors for that matter, were very hands off, rarely checking my vitals or the progress of my labor that morning.  Lastly, we had to tell the nurses to throw away my placenta as they were preparing to package it up for us to take home. 

Healthy and whole!

Proud Daddy

Whitman is a big brother now!

Caedmon holds his sister quite often!

We both were able to leave the hospital the following day, on Sunday.  We took it easy on Monday, then on Tuesday Evangeline took her first plane ride to a neighboring island to visit the US consulate.  The plane ride required a doctor’s note as the airlines prefer infants under a month not to fly.  At the consulate we reported her ‘birth-abroad’ which formalized her US citizenship and then applied for her passport and social security card.  By the following Saturday, the 11^th, we returned home to Barat.  Within that week, we also received notice from our agent in the capital city that the work visa is finished and ready to be picked up. 
Two weeks after applying for Evangeline's passport, we now have it in hand.  We all are now ready to travel out of the country on the 13^th of July to pick up the work visa. 

More than anything we are praising the Father that Evangeline was born whole and healthy and that I didn’t have any bleeding problems.  Now we are continuing to adjust to having an infant.  Caedmon is very interested and helpful with Evangeline.  Whitman is loving, but much less interested, and probably noticing the birth order change more.  I am trying to consistently nap and though still adjusting to nursing every three hours, my body has healed much quicker than with either Caedmon or Whitman’s births. 

Evangeline Aleta

Born June 4th, 5lb 15oz, 18-1/2"

A Month of Weddings

We have attended three weddings thus far this month.  Each wedding followed a very similar order of events.  We attended only a portion of each.  The events begin with a gathering of the family and friends at the groom’s house at about 9 in the morning.  There is usually a meal offered, then, at about 10am, all the groom’s family and friends, along with the groom and a truck full of gifts for the bride, caravan-it to the bride’s house.  At the bride’s house the actual marriage ceremony takes place between the groom and the bride’s father.  After which, the groom goes to the bride’s bedroom to retrieve his wife.  There are usually some words, prayers, or blessings that take place before they come out, all with as many guests looking on as possible.  The couple then takes their place on a large stage, set up under a tent usually in the middle of the road.  Here the couple greets all their guests until mid-afternoon, at which point they may return to the groom’s house to greet additional guests.  During the afternoon, the couple usually takes a small break, if time and guests allow.  Afterwards, they change into another outfit, just as fancy, for the night reception, which usually takes place at about 7:30pm.  This reception is similar to the earlier event in which the bride and groom sit on the stage greeting guests, the guests eat, and someone sings on another stage. 

The first wedding was of the younger brother of our neighbors whom have been very helpful with Barat language study.  I, Erin, went by myself as John and Caedmon had soccer practice, and Whitman chose to go to soccer over the wedding. 

The Bride's family bringing gifts

when they went to the groom's house to greet guests mid-afternoon. 

Bride & Groom

with the groom's parents

Erin and our nieghbor

The groom's mother presenting the couple with gifts. 

The bride is putting her mother-in-law's hand to her forehead in a sign of respect.

Our neighbor's daughter, the bride, and Erin

The second wedding was an employee from the immigration office whom we've made friends with due to our frequent visits.  She offered and provided traditional clothes for our family to wear to the wedding.  It was a lot of fun to "dress up," but the clothes were not at all breathable.  It made me feel sorry for the bride and groom. 

Getting dressed, with some help from friends of the bride. 

Caedmon

Erin

The shirt fit perfectly, even around my big belly, and without any pre-measuring!

Whitman making friends in the car.

The Wedding Ceremony, inside the bride's house.

Sitting on the floor. 

After the ceremony, we ate food that was under all the yellow covers.

The groom retrieving the bride from her bedroom.

Bride and Groom heading to the stage to greet other guests. 

Our family with the bride and groom.

Everyone wanted their picture taken with us.

The Bride's Hands

Her hands are drawn on, in a henna type manner, in a special ceremony the night before. 

She did have her cell phone with her the whole time as well. 

The third wedding was one of our original language helpers.  This wedding was the only one of the three which used local Barat customs in the dress and decorations.  To me, a foreigner, they all looked pretty similar.

Guests, just hanging out.

Arrival of the groom, his family, guests, and gifts.

Event tent set up in the middle of the road.

Typical formal wear for male guests:

sarong, sport jacket, and traditional hat.  

Our family with the bride and groom.

Our language helper is the bride. 

As for the head covering, I chose to wear one for many small reasons.  Mainly though, to be like the people we live among and reduce any future barriers to knowing truth.  This was the first time I wore one out in public.  I received only a few comments, which all consisted of, "You're wearing a head covering, you look so pretty."  Out of the three brides, all wore skin tight head coverings as well (this is pretty rare from our own experience attending weddings).  The first bride though, did wear one which was black on top to mimic her hair.  All great experiences for culture study and picture taking.