Form versus Meaning

When we first studied the question of form versus meaning it was in the context of language.  If you have learned a second language you know much of language cannot be translated literally.  For example the most common question we receive whenever we leave our house is literally translated, "Want go where?"  Their meaning is, "Where're you going?"  In English we don't use the word want and it would sound quite funny to leave out the subject you. 

After looking at the context of language, we were challenged to bring the issue into the context of culture.  Are the things we do just cultural or dictated by truth.  Some of these are easier to answer than others, such as how to put on a wedding: cultural!  How to dress?  Slightly more difficult, but mostly cultural.  Here I do not dress as I would in my home culture for it would be very disrespectful, therefore I am guided by truth, choosing to be respectful to their culture and cover up a little more (though it is sooo hot.)

Recently John and I discussed a different culture versus truth question: fish. 

Recently I bought and cooked fish for $2.
John would be happy eating fish daily, if only I could become more comfortable with buying and cooking it. 

 Fish is a main staple here.  Chicken and beef are for the rich.  I get a kick out of telling people that fish in the States is expensive, more like rich people's food.  I rarely buy fish because I just don't have a lot of experience cooking it, especially bone-in, whole fish.  Recently our neighbors have all been seeking food options other than fish, or at least discussing it, but not because of a spike in price. 

In the past couple weeks a total of 6 bodies have been found on our coastline from a plane crash that occurred in December.  Unfortunately the bodies were found in pretty bad shape, leading many to conclude they had at least been nibbled on by fish.  Therefore, there is great concern in our community about what the fish, one might eat, ate prior to being caught.  When I first heard this I laughed it off, thinking people were joking.  Some were, others are serious and getting tired of tofu and tempe as alternatives.  I don't know much about fish, the various types, and their various diets, but I have heard the term bottom feeder and know there are those that just swim along with their mouths open eating whatever enters.  So, I am sure I have eaten fish that have eaten many things that I would not eat myself.  But all this talk led John and I to discuss the matter of culture versus truth one day when we were unable to order fish at a local restaurant we frequently visit. 

Do our neighbors understand the process of digestion?  Is there a difference to them between a physical body and a spiritual body?  Do our actions here in this world, towards a corpse, effect the one who died or us?  How directly or indirectly are we affected by what an animal we eat has already eaten?  Do the things that go into our bodies make us clean or unclean?  John and I know where we stand with all these questions, but we still have a lot to learn about the views of our neighbors.  This has been very interesting, sometimes a little funny, and occasionally a little gross to think about.   

Search Teams Being Deployed

The search for the remaining bodies and plane parts has been localized to the crash site, over 600 miles away.  After local fisherman found passenger and plane remains, a search began in our province. 

Wedding Preparations

This month John and I will celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary.  Thinking back to my wedding, I might have changed a few decorations or simple event items, but all in all with the help of friends, family, and different businesses it all went very well.  If I had to plan or put on a wedding here though I would not know what to do. 

Last Friday a local friend invited me to participate in the preparations for a neighborhood wedding.  We have attended countless wedding in this country, but this was the first time I got to see first hand the preparations that go into the event.  The wedding took place on Saturday, but preparations began the preceding Thursday.  Friday morning about 8:30am my friend picked me up.  I was told to bring a knife, but nothing else.  I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, but my friend was wearing pants, long sleeves and a head coving.  This was noteworthy as my friend, who sells fried bananas on the side of the road daily, usually just wears shorts, a t-shirt, and no head covering.  Head coverings are often worn when dressing up to go out, so I wondered if I was a little too dressed down. 

 

Living room at the bride's parent's house.

Upon arriving to the bride's parent's house, we were told to first have tea and cake.  The living room was already decorated for the wedding.  There were at least 10 plates of various pastries provided specifically for those helping. 

Decorations
The stage is for the bride and groom.

Getting Started

After tea and cake we all moved to different locations in and around the house.  My friend and I started by making batter for a folded pancake type pastry.  At first I thought this was an odd choice for wedding pastries.  I soon found out I was justified in my surprise.  These pastries and at least half of the other preparations that morning were intended for lunch for all the workers, that same day. 

Woven Palm Frons
To be filled with rice, then cooked in a large pot of water

On the Floor
All work, chopping, slicing, mixing, etc., was done on the floor.
 In the back ground are clean dishes for that day's lunch and the weekend's events. 

Counter Space
The floor definitely provided more work space than all of the counter space in the kitchen, but it is still challenging for my clean and healthy oriented self. 

The Men's Work
To prepare for the wedding, it was the men's job to cook the rice and the water (still not sure what the water was for, maybe just making it potable).  I have seen men help with the grilling of fish and there are various food stalls that have men as cooks.  But in general in this culture, men DO NOT help in household kitchens.   

Everything from Scratch
We took the skins off of peanuts, then crushed them with a mortar and pestle.  This was for our folded pancake pastry. 

My hand after taking skins off peanuts.  Hands were usually just wiped off on a cloth or rinsed off in a bowl of water.  I rinsed mine a couple times in running water, but soap was no where to be found. 

Washing Dishes
These ladies served all morning washing dishes... on the floor too!  The one water faucet they used is blue and green on the far right towards the top of the brick wall. 

Cooking
We cooked our pastry on the left while another lady fried tempe on the right, again just for our lunch.  We started cooking standing up, but not long afterwards we moved the two burner stove to...THE FLOOR, so we could all sit.  I admit it was much more comfortable. 

On the Porch
These women sat on the porch slicing, chopping, and prepping food. 

Cooking Chicken
At least 100 chickens were bought for the wedding.  All of which came dead and de-feathered, but whole. 



A Neighbor and I
We were waiting to make a dessert with the brown balls made from palm sugar and coconut, to the left. We needed coconut milk which had not yet been made: pressed out from freshly grated coconut. 

Cooking more Chicken

A Large Mortar and Pestle
My friend, who invited me, pounding grated cassava into a fine powder.

Mixing spices into chopped, deboned chicken.

Chicken to be skewered. 
After seasoning the chicken, it was divided among trays so a large group of us could put four pieces on each skewer. 

Skewered Chicken
This was the first thing I helped with that was actually for the wedding. 
 

I left the preparation party about 1:30pm and did not return, though my friend and many neighbors did. 

Saturday the four of us attended the wedding event at mid-day.  It was in our complex so it made for a short walk.  It also made for a very loud day as music was played during the event at mid-day, then again at the 'night reception' until about 12:30am.  The funniest thing was I never say the skewered chicken on the buffet line, maybe it wasn't for the main event after all, ha!

A Kitchen Tour

After learning to bake bread from scratch in college, the kitchen became my favorite room in the house.  I continue to thoroughly enjoy creating edible treats and so much of our home culture involves gathering with friends or family around food.  Before we moved overseas, getting rid of my kitchen items was much more difficult for me, especially my Kitchen Aid mixer, than most other possessions (except maybe the rocking chair I used when the boys were babies).  After moving here, kitchens soon became a place I feared.  Ok, not entirely, but they are so very different.  People do most of their food prep on the floor, the kitchens in general are much messier, and the tools are not the same.  So it is only natural my kitchen here looks much different than the kitchens I was use to in the States.  Let us go on a tour of my overseas kitchen for you to see yourself what it looks like.  Keep in mind it may look different than the typical U.S. kitchen, but it also looks very different than most kitchens here.

My Kitchen
complete with a washing machine instead of a dishwasher

Dinking Water and Gas Stove
Middle left is the one and only outlet in the room. 

The pan rack has been a favorite aspect of my kitchen as it saves precious cupboard space and is conveniently above the stove.  There isn't anything like Home Depot here so we had to order the wood pole specially made from a wood worker, but it was well worth the couple week wait. All our neighbors have a two burner stove.  If they have a an oven it is placed on top of a burner when needed.  When people see my oven, bought in the big city, they all are amazed and immediately assume it is electric.  We intentionally buy gas in a larger tank, rusty blue on bottom right above, to last longer as I frequently use the oven.  We get a new one about every 3 months.  Most people have a tank about 1/3 the size.  As for outlets, there is one in each room of our house = 4 electrical outlets in the whole house.  So as in the picture above we use a special adapter giving us three additional outlets, then run an extension cord with additional outlets on the end around the top of the wall for the fridge and washing machine which are opposite the oven. 

ALL of my cupboard space
Thank goodness for a little extra counter space too, which was intentionally put on wheels to move appliances closer to the ONE outlet in the room. 

Refrigerator and Washing Machine

Most people have refrigerators about 2/3 the size of ours.  There are people though just outside our complex that don't have one at all.  Having started out in this country with one that was about 2/3 the size, our current one seems quite nice though I know it is pretty small in comparison to the standard fridge in the States. 

French Press for coffee
Most locals just stir the coffee grounds straight into the hot water and let it settle before drinking. 
I still like my coffee "Good to the last drop"



Our Toaster

Our Waffle Iron

Our electrical appliances (aside from the fridge and washer) consist of a blender and a mixer, I actually found a Kitchen Aid in the big city!!!  Most people here own a rice cooker, but I'm not willing to give up my counter space.  I usually cook rice in the pressure cooker as I still burn it on the stove top.  Truth be told I had no idea what a pressure cooker was before some overseas training, but it has been really handy, especially for beans and rice.  I can't say I miss having a microwave, though occasionally it would be nice for reheating a drink.   

As I enjoy cooking and baking it has been nice to find a way to have a functional and familiar kitchen.  Such different kitchens are a reflection of the differences in food and since so many of our customary foods are not available here, I have also had the pleasure of learning to make many things from scratch.  Some foods are not worth the time and effort for me, but there are many that have become part of my monthly menu. 

Tortillas, Bagels, English Muffins, Granola, Grape Nut type cereal, chicken broth, and yogurt are all foods I have learned to and frequently do make.  Most aren't too difficult, but I would never have thought of learning to make them in the States as they are so much easier to just buy at the local grocery store!

...becoming all things to all men...

We spent the past five days in the big city for a bit of shopping and relaxation.  We were after all out of cheese.  Friday we spent the evening with some other westerners.  It was great fun catching up and sharing stories of our experiences here.  We had a group discussion about our actions here and how they might become bridges or barriers in relationships.  Having grown up in a different culture we can never become 100% like the people here, even if skilled at language.  Regardless, we discussed our need for cultural awareness and wisdom to know how and when to alter our actions.  One example was in the area of saying Thank You.  There is a direct translation in the national culture for thank you, but in the Barat language there is not.  John has learned that people feel using words for your appreciation for what another has done, is very shallow.  Instead, people respond in kind, with actions to appropriately show their thankfulness.  Living in their culture, we want to do most things (in light of right and wrong) like they do.  So do we stop saying thank you?  In our discussion last weekend we decided saying thank you in and of itself wasn't building barriers, yet we may be failing to really show others our appreciation.  To respond in kind often means taking neighbors food, offering rides, lending tools, or help in general when needed.  All of things takes time, effort, and often a willingness to let go of what I consider "mine."  Think of us as we continue in our efforts to be intentional and communicate effectively. 

Sickness + Visiting + Family = CULTURE!

On Friday I, Erin, joined 3 neighbor ladies on a visit to a sick neighbor, Mrs. Anni.  Mrs. Anni lives directly across the street and has two daughters the same age as Caedmon and Whitman.  We left on foot, not to cross our narrow street, but to visit Anni at her mother's house.  On our way, only about 8 blocks, we stopped at a little mom-and-pop store to buy something to take along.  From past hospital visits, I have learned the visitors usually bring fruit or pastries, and often an envelope of money.  For this house visit we went in together to buy about $10 of flour, sugar, tea, and sweetened condensed milk (common pantry items).  Once at the house we were welcomed by Anni's oldest brother and shown into her bedroom by her mother.  We found Anni sitting on the edge of the bed, looking pretty well, and rubbing the back of her 4 year daughter who was throwing-up, into a sarong.  At least four other kids, nieces and nephews, sat on the floor of the same room watching TV.  Comments and questions quickly began pertaining to Anni's health, her daughter's sickness, advice on helping the daughter (primarily by rubbing an aromatic oil on her back), and admonition of the daughter for 'playing about' so much. 

 Thankfully I had a learners attitude and was able to just listened to the various reasons for sickness and take it all in.  Anni had spent the previous night in the hospital receiving IV fluids because she could not stop vomiting.  She and the hospital staff chalked it up to the indigestion she regularly deals with.  Her daughter on the other hand was said to have 'wind enter' her body, then was admonished for 'playing about' too much and advised not to in the future.  No connection was made, as far as I understood, between the mother's and daughter's illnesses. 

As a nurse, a foreigner working in a second and third language as they spoke 80% of the time in the local Barat language, and coming from a very scientific culture, I was so struck by their reasoning, not to mention how they handled it all. 

On a side note a sarong is the most versatile tool you could own.  They are used as covers when cold, a cover while showering down at the well or changing at the beach, formal wear at parties, and now I know as a barf-bucket.  When I accompanied a friend during the birth of her daughter, one of the first questions we were asked by the nurse was, "Where are your sarongs?"

After talking for awhile at our visit in the bed room, we moved to the living room where we were served tea and crackers.  Anni joined us and we all talked of her illness and everyone's health history.  The whole visited lasted about an hour then we all returned home. 

I was also struck by how family looks here.  My friend Anni was at her mom's house recuperating and tending to her sick daughter, while her husband was at home... by himself.  We were welcomed into the house by Anni's oldest brother, who lives with his mother and his son, and works in the town of Barat while his wife and daughter live in the provincial capital 4 hours away because that is where the wife works.  This is not an uncommon family situation.  Another neighbor was just transferred to a village about 30 minutes away.  He now lives in a dorm type situation whereas his wife and 3 month old baby returned to live with her mother in their home town, at least 5 hours away. 

I walked away being amazed at how much could be observed from a one house visit.  And that is with understanding only about 20% of the conversation.  Culture is just so intertwined in our lives, languge, institutions, and beliefs.  

Tropical Paradise

Happy New Year! 

And maybe, hopefully, another year here too!  We just heard that our much awaited recommendation from the Social work office is finished.  This letter authorizes John to be a social type worker in this country.  We thankfully had a friend in the capital willing to pick it up and take it to the next stop along the journey, the Work Force office.  We now await a letter from that office for the Immigration office which will recommend a work visa be issued for John.  As far as we know this is the last step before actually moving to the immigration office.  The rest of this should now take about 8-10 weeks which would put us exactly at the end of our current social-cultural visas.  As always we will see and just keep trusting in the mean time.

 

We hope you all rang in the New Year with thankfulness for all the blessings of last year and the hope of another year.  We had a pretty low key celebration.  I, Erin, made pizza with a few neighbor girls, we all set off fireworks at about 9pm, and then we sat the boys down for a movie.  We were all in bed by midnight and just listened to other fireworks set off from bed.  

The next night proved to be louder and more lively than New Year's Eve, on our street at least.  Many of our neighbors are police officers.  Two of them recently received promotions.  To celebrate they rented speakers and a karaoke machine, cooked food, and celebrated well past midnight.  Their party didn't really get going until 9pm. 

Promotion Party
Our house is the last on the left, after the tall orange/brown house.

The party, like most events, was held outside.  It is usually cooler outside at night and of course there is much more room.  This also led to a lot more noise.

 

Karaoke



Tan lines in January

Unlike some people, we did not travel over the holidays, yet we (Caedmon and I anyway) have some significant tans lines.  We did not travel to the tropics because we live in the tropics.  I am constantly learning, as are people around the world, "...what it is to be content whatever the circumstances."  We definitely "know what it is to have plenty..." as the dollar goes far here and we are surrounded by people living with so much less.  Yet because we are living in a place so different than the culture we were shaped by it is challenging.  It is hot, we are still learning how to interact with others, processes don't run as we are use to, and it is a very relationally oriented culture.  So as we start a new calendar year and hope for a new year-long visa, I aim to keep my eye on things eternal and be thankful for the beauty around us, because after all we can go to the beach everyday and it is Mango and Durian season (don't knock it till you try it). 

A Merry Day!

    Each week this month I’ve made a different holiday cookie and other festive treats.  I learned to make Eggnog from scratch, gingerbread made with fresh ginger is delicious, melted palm sugar is a good molasses substitute, 1 pineapple is the equivalent to 6 cups puree (for the drink Wassail) and that some cookies just do not taste as good made with margarine (Mexican Tea cakes).  For the rest of our celebrations we stayed in Barat and as always, tried to be intentional.  We did some decorating, but kept it simple.  In hopes of not fitting into the common western view of the holiday we did not get a tree, though we would not have found one here in Barat anyway.  Most view a tree as a significant part of the ‘western’ holiday.  Some may understand it is a decoration, but one man believed it to be an idol put up by adherents of that particular belief system to worship. 

     The week before the boys made a gingerbread house.  We had closed it up afterwards in a Tupperware to keep out of the humidity until Christmas day. 

 

 

 

Brothers working together!

No shirt needed as it was hot as usual!

The finishing touches. 

Christmas eve we invited neighbors and a group of teachers from around the country over for pizza.  A few of our neighbors had never eaten pizza before. 

 

Packed into our house.
These 20-year-olds are part of a organization that sends willing individuals out to teach for a whole year
in underdeveloped areas. 

They all speak English well, so we followed dinner with a game of Taboo in English.

Christmas morning we talked about blessings in our lives and what happened 2014 years ago.  Thanks to technology we also Skyped with family.  The rest of the day we spent relaxing and watching related movies.  I made a traditional meal with the ingredients available here.  It was the first time I made stuffing all by myself (I barely remembered to make bread the day before).

Though it didn’t look too similar to what we grew up with, and I do miss some of that, it was a very nice holiday as we are still able to focus on the real reason even though we are far away from our usual traditions. 

Caedmon and Whitman

Our tree with ornaments for specific blessings in our lives.

Complete with a piñata.
We have emphasized the holiday as a birthday, which the boys completely understand. 
So as our recent birthday celebrations have included piñatas, it seemed only right to include a star piñata!

Our Spread
Roasted chicken, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and green beans. 

And a birthday cake!

Hope yours was a VERY MERRY one as well!

End of the Semester

For an end of the semester event, the boy’s school planned a field trip and activities at the beach.  The students were all shuttled from school to the beach, along with parents without transportation, in cars of willing parents.  We arrived at a nice area of the beach designated for events.  Each student was involved in one of many contests.  There was drawing, painting, arranging 4 Arabic characters in alphabetic order, a ball toss, filling baskets with balls, and finally a tug-of-war.  Following the contests were snacks and prizes.  Each student, regardless of their performance, received a prize.  It was fun for the kids to do something different and for John and I to interact with parents. 

Whitman with classmates

Caedmon with classmates

waiting for their individual activities

announcements and directions from a teacher

Whitman preparing for the ball contest.
He had to run to the pile then run back to his basket to fill it as much as he could in three tries.

Running!
They gave the kids a couple tries, the second time they got more into it!

Caedmon took part in the tug-of-war.

Tug!
Some parents got more into it than the kids.

So Relieved to Find

...a cockroach!

(Never thought I'd say that.)

 

I recently have been noticing small droppings in our dish and dry goods cupboard.  At first, I passed it off as gecko droppings as these are found all over, even streaking down the wall (yuck, I know).  Then I decided to give the cupboard a good cleaning.  I proceeded to find a rather significant area of droppings just behind our plates.  Blaming the geckos immediately flew out the window and I began to very begrudgingly suspect a mouse.  Thus far we have been mouse/rat (same word in the language here) free, thankfully.  A neighbor just yesterday was complaining about doing dishes and said she waits until they pile up, or the rats appear. 

Suspecting a mouse/rat I carefully started moving everything to coax it out of hiding.  Something moved, then I saw a cockroach.  I coaxed him out of the cupboard and sprayed the heck out of him with bug spray, which is a funny thing because it takes a couple minutes for them to be affected so they just keep running around.  I went to bed that night concerned the mouse was still on the loose until John googled images for... cockroach droppings.  Who knew cockroaches leave droppings similar to mice, yet there are distinct differences.  I am very thankful to now know the difference between mouse and cockroach droppings.  The verdict: We are still mouse/rat free!