Baby Care - Cross Culturally

Evangeline is now 2 months old.  We are getting into a schedule and she is extending the hours she sleeps at night, reaching 8 hours twice.  She is also providing us with many opportunities to learn culture. 

Everyone in Barat, and in many other parts of this country, were very surprised that we would venture out of the house at first with such a small baby.  Most people here do not go out before the baby is 40 days old.  Granted, Evangeline did take her first airplane ride at only 3 days old making her a unique case even by U.S. standards.  Occasionally I, Erin, will go out with Evangeline to a neighborhood shop or to visit a friend.  People are worried she may get sick because she usually is without a hat.  At first we would take her outside in just a onesie, but due to people’s comments, we began wrapping her in a light blanket.  We have always worked by the principal that infants are best dressed with one addition layer than what we would be comfortable in.  In this climate I would be comfortable in nothing, so I figure Evangeline is fine in just a onesie.  The Barat people on the other hand think babies should be all wrapped up, including socks, mittens, and a hat, especially when outside. 

Some of the things we are seen doing have been met with comments such as, “I didn’t know you could do that,” or “Our parents always told us not to do that.”  This frequently occurs when we hold Evangeline in an upright position.  They hold their babies horizontally for at least a couple months as they fear for the safety of the baby’s head.  One friend told us that is could cause the child to become a hunch back. 

Mostly for small talk, people frequently ask me if I am breastfeeding and if we use a hammock.  All babies here are placed in a type of hammock hung on springs, then bounced to sooth and put to sleep.  It is used much in the same way baby swings are in the U.S. are, except there is nothing automatic about them, causing someone to always be tugging on the hammock to keep the baby bouncing. 

A few other differences we have learned are that many people do not use diapers, of any kind, for the first couple months.  One man mentioned chafing, where as another friend mentioned the remains of the umbilical cord as reasons.  Most baby girls get their ears pierced almost immediately.  Once neighbor told me I should make sure to get it done before her ear lobes become hard.   Every time there is a visitor to meet our new baby and congratulate us, they always bring a gift.  Gifts have consisted of clothes, mostly brightly patterned dresses, soap for us and Evangeline, and pillows.

 

Gifts

Not sure what to do with all the pillows!

Evangeline being weighed at a local clinic.

Yes, that is her in the sack.

Most of these differences are easy to just nod, smile at, and agree that yes we do things differently.  There have been a couple differences that are more difficult for me.  One, is that everyone wants to touch Evangeline, mostly on her face.  The second is even people who are sick, or very recently sick, will come to visit.  One lady with a cold and a girl who had a fever the night before came to visit.  Then a neighbor we all call ‘grandma’ came to chat with us while we were outside.  She proceeds to tells us all of how she has had diarrhea since the night before, all the while holding Evangeline’s hand.  These times it is ok to be a little more forward and tell people it is not ok to hold or touch her. 

All in all I am so thankful for Evangeline’s continued health and growth.

We also just celebrated Caedmon's 8th birthday.  Blessed by another year with Caedmon!

We started with cinnamon rolls before school.

We made a piñata.

Whitman taking a turn.

Caedmon's turn

Caedmon wanted vanilla and strawberry cake.

We ate cake with neighbors after the piñata broke.

Getting so big!

Daipers - Internationally

When we initially moved overseas, we brought all the cloth diapers we were using with Whitman at the time.  We immediately found disposable diapers to be available and cloth to be practical only depending your laundry situation.  Here in Barat we thankfully are experiencing a more consistent water supply than a few months ago, so we have been using our same cloth diapers with Evangeline ever since coming home from the hospital. 

 

Looking silly in cloth when first coming home.

 On the 11th of July we left Barat to fly out of the country to retrieve our work visa.  I packed one package of disposable diapers, which we use while traveling, for the initial part of our trip.  As we spent one day in the big city before flying out, I did not keep a close count on our diaper supply.  It turned out I put Evangeline in the last diaper before we left the hotel for the airport.  We kindly asked the taxi driver to stop at a convenience store on the way.  It turned out all the convenience stores we passed were on the other side of the median on the road we took.  We didn't ask the driver to make the multiple U-turns it would have taken to stop because we knew there was at least 2 mini-convenience stores at the airport.  Upon arriving at the airport we visited 5 different mini-convenience stores, only to find not a single one carried diapers.  At the last store John bought a package of female pads as a last resort to use as inserts.  I was frustrated and felt like a terrible mother in having to piece together a diaper for my daughter.  Thankfully after our 3 hour plane ride we found diapers, but our adventure didn't stop there. 

A few days later it was time to buy diapers again, so we visited a local grocery store in the country we were visiting in SE Asia.  As I selected diapers I was careful to avoid the "pull-up" style as these are sold in all sizes, even newborn, which we learned the hard way shortly after Evangeline was born. 

"Pull-Up" style diaper in size small.

Upon returning to our hotel, I went to change Evangeline's diaper and found yet again another style of diaper.  This time I had bought some sort of insert.  After the initial frustration, I had to laugh for these inserts were much like using the pads John had bought in the big city.  Finally, I did find disposable diapers with tabs to easily open and close, but boy do you have to be careful as you look through the various sizes and styles.

Diaper insert, complete with sticky patches to help it stay put. 

The small colored symbol is the key. 

I thought I had the right kind as I noticed the sides were not sown together as for the pull-up kind,

but I did not know I had to look for tabs.  Our lack of language ability in that country didn't help. 

We were accompanied through the whole diaper fiasco by my, Erin, parents.  They met us in SE Asia to meet their new granddaughter and return home with us to experience our life in Barat.   

We returned to Barat with a work visa in hand for John and year long 'tag-along-with-your-husband/father' visas for the kids and I.  The Father had definitely gone before to prepare the way.  We visited our host country's consulate on a Friday.  After filling out the required forms, we were told we could return that same day to pick up the visas.  This had never happened before.  The quickest we experienced was a two business day turn around.  We were blown away by this same day service!

Meeting Papa J

Trying the infant seatbelt with Grammy J

Seeing Sights

We found Mexican food!

Evangeline visited all the sights mostly asleep in the carrier.

Erin and her parents

Sight seeing with friends in Barat.

Erin's mom at a friend's house.

Papa J taking Whitman to school with John

Picking up Caedmon

School mates went crazy when I suggested taking a picture.

Picking up Whitman

A Full Week

We started the month off with a bang!  Caedmon and Whitman each attended their last day of school for the year on Thursday the 2^nd.  Then we all, along with our sponsor, traveled the hour south to the immigration office to apply for the last extension of our social-cultural visas.  After which our family traveled on to the big city to await the birth of our daughter.  We spent Friday the 3^rd relaxing and fellowshipping with friends.  That night I was checked by the doctor only to be told there were not any signs of labor approaching.  So we prepared to wait, my due date was the 10^th after all. 

About 1am the next morning I woke up with some bleeding (probably caused by the doctor visit) and very irregular contractions.  Eventually I went back to bed, only to be woken up again at 5am by my water breaking.  John, Caedmon, Whitman, and I piled into a taxi and headed to the hospital.  Contractions began again, but never became very regular.  By 8am the doctor ordered labor to be induced.  Regular contractions began at 8:15 and by 9:42 am on June 4^th Evangeline Aleta was born.  Overall giving birth overseas was a good experience with just a few noticeable cultural differences.  The most notable were, I was able to eat whatever I wanted right up until I gave birth.  When I was fully dilated, the nurses delivered Evangeline right away, they didn’t even try to have me wait until the doctor arrived.  The nurses, and doctors for that matter, were very hands off, rarely checking my vitals or the progress of my labor that morning.  Lastly, we had to tell the nurses to throw away my placenta as they were preparing to package it up for us to take home. 

Healthy and whole!

Proud Daddy

Whitman is a big brother now!

Caedmon holds his sister quite often!

We both were able to leave the hospital the following day, on Sunday.  We took it easy on Monday, then on Tuesday Evangeline took her first plane ride to a neighboring island to visit the US consulate.  The plane ride required a doctor’s note as the airlines prefer infants under a month not to fly.  At the consulate we reported her ‘birth-abroad’ which formalized her US citizenship and then applied for her passport and social security card.  By the following Saturday, the 11^th, we returned home to Barat.  Within that week, we also received notice from our agent in the capital city that the work visa is finished and ready to be picked up. 
Two weeks after applying for Evangeline's passport, we now have it in hand.  We all are now ready to travel out of the country on the 13^th of July to pick up the work visa. 

More than anything we are praising the Father that Evangeline was born whole and healthy and that I didn’t have any bleeding problems.  Now we are continuing to adjust to having an infant.  Caedmon is very interested and helpful with Evangeline.  Whitman is loving, but much less interested, and probably noticing the birth order change more.  I am trying to consistently nap and though still adjusting to nursing every three hours, my body has healed much quicker than with either Caedmon or Whitman’s births. 

Evangeline Aleta

Born June 4th, 5lb 15oz, 18-1/2"

A Month of Weddings

We have attended three weddings thus far this month.  Each wedding followed a very similar order of events.  We attended only a portion of each.  The events begin with a gathering of the family and friends at the groom’s house at about 9 in the morning.  There is usually a meal offered, then, at about 10am, all the groom’s family and friends, along with the groom and a truck full of gifts for the bride, caravan-it to the bride’s house.  At the bride’s house the actual marriage ceremony takes place between the groom and the bride’s father.  After which, the groom goes to the bride’s bedroom to retrieve his wife.  There are usually some words, prayers, or blessings that take place before they come out, all with as many guests looking on as possible.  The couple then takes their place on a large stage, set up under a tent usually in the middle of the road.  Here the couple greets all their guests until mid-afternoon, at which point they may return to the groom’s house to greet additional guests.  During the afternoon, the couple usually takes a small break, if time and guests allow.  Afterwards, they change into another outfit, just as fancy, for the night reception, which usually takes place at about 7:30pm.  This reception is similar to the earlier event in which the bride and groom sit on the stage greeting guests, the guests eat, and someone sings on another stage. 

The first wedding was of the younger brother of our neighbors whom have been very helpful with Barat language study.  I, Erin, went by myself as John and Caedmon had soccer practice, and Whitman chose to go to soccer over the wedding. 

The Bride's family bringing gifts

when they went to the groom's house to greet guests mid-afternoon. 

Bride & Groom

with the groom's parents

Erin and our nieghbor

The groom's mother presenting the couple with gifts. 

The bride is putting her mother-in-law's hand to her forehead in a sign of respect.

Our neighbor's daughter, the bride, and Erin

The second wedding was an employee from the immigration office whom we've made friends with due to our frequent visits.  She offered and provided traditional clothes for our family to wear to the wedding.  It was a lot of fun to "dress up," but the clothes were not at all breathable.  It made me feel sorry for the bride and groom. 

Getting dressed, with some help from friends of the bride. 

Caedmon

Erin

The shirt fit perfectly, even around my big belly, and without any pre-measuring!

Whitman making friends in the car.

The Wedding Ceremony, inside the bride's house.

Sitting on the floor. 

After the ceremony, we ate food that was under all the yellow covers.

The groom retrieving the bride from her bedroom.

Bride and Groom heading to the stage to greet other guests. 

Our family with the bride and groom.

Everyone wanted their picture taken with us.

The Bride's Hands

Her hands are drawn on, in a henna type manner, in a special ceremony the night before. 

She did have her cell phone with her the whole time as well. 

The third wedding was one of our original language helpers.  This wedding was the only one of the three which used local Barat customs in the dress and decorations.  To me, a foreigner, they all looked pretty similar.

Guests, just hanging out.

Arrival of the groom, his family, guests, and gifts.

Event tent set up in the middle of the road.

Typical formal wear for male guests:

sarong, sport jacket, and traditional hat.  

Our family with the bride and groom.

Our language helper is the bride. 

As for the head covering, I chose to wear one for many small reasons.  Mainly though, to be like the people we live among and reduce any future barriers to knowing truth.  This was the first time I wore one out in public.  I received only a few comments, which all consisted of, "You're wearing a head covering, you look so pretty."  Out of the three brides, all wore skin tight head coverings as well (this is pretty rare from our own experience attending weddings).  The first bride though, did wear one which was black on top to mimic her hair.  All great experiences for culture study and picture taking. 

Monsters inside Me - Int'l Version

Blood and guts have never really bothered me, Erin.  In college, classmates and I were fascinated by videos of athletes becoming injured.  I have watched many surgeries in person and been just as mesmerized by all that is done and never sickened by what I saw.  But when it comes to skin problems or parasites, I get quite disgusted.  One exception is wounds; I dealt with many bedsores as a nurse and though they are terrible wounds, they never bothered me much.  But when you have something crawling with bugs (yes I've cared for a patient in the hospital in the States with a maggot-full wound), or erupting on the skin, or worse yet caused by microscopic bugs, I have a real hard time.  Therefore I am not one to watch the show Monsters inside Me, though I usually like all things medical.  The show is about infections or ailments caused by parasites. 

Overseas, in the area in which we are living, we have experienced some of these parasites; amebic dysentery and giardia to be specific.  But Cutaneous Larva Migrans is a new one. 

John's Hand

The trail left by a worm.

Over a month ago now, John was bit by a red ant on his hand.  This is never a good thing for him as it leaves a red bump for at least a week and he typically swells up.  But this time we managed it well with immediate application of Benadryl.  The swelling and discomfort turned out to be minimal.  The red bump remained, continued to itch excessively, and then began to grow.  We've all had some bites that I've suspected were something other than mosquitos, but they never grew.  He continued to apply Benadryl cream.  I tried lancing it with a needle a couple times (which kind of grossed me out as I didn't entirely know what I was poking).  John tried oral Benadryl and the application of ice as well.  Nothing seemed to stop the continued growth of what was now an obvious line.  We eventually determined, thanks to the internet and the book "Where There's No Doctor," that John had a worm.  This totally grosses me out.  We figured he came in contact with the worm as he worked outside after getting the ant bite, which opened his skin, making it more susceptible to the entrance of the worm. 

We obtained a list of  multiple oral medications he could take to kill it, but unfortunately we couldn't find any pharmacy here in Barat that had even just one in stock.  One pharmacist did tell us the medication was expensive and rarely if ever used, therefore rarely stocked.  Thankfully we had success at a pharmacy in the city an hour away where we go for immigration visits.  John has taken the one time dose and we now await the resolution of his long red tunnel made by the worm....yuck!

A Walk-In Clinic Visit

As I, Erin, am about to enter my 8th month of pregnancy, it is recommended to be seen every two weeks.  Thus far, we have been making monthly trips to the big city (a 6 hour car ride away) to be seen by a doctor at a hospital where I hope to deliver.  It seemed a little extreme to increase our trips to every two weeks, especially as we intend to stay in the big city, awaiting the delivery, beginning June 3rd (my due date is the 10th). 

I mentioned to a neighbor that I desired to make a visit to the local walk-in type clinic for a pregnancy check-up.  She too is pregnant and suggested we go together.  Monday morning we ventured together to the clinic.  It is very helpful to have a local show you the ropes first time around. 

The Entrance and Check-In Desk

The clinic is about 4 blocks from our house.  It is an open air construction, with rooms and offices all opening directly out into a court yard.  We first took numbers, then when called, "checked-in," giving our name, address, and husband's name.  When our charts were ready, we waited a little longer than usual for they had to make me a new chart, we went directly across the courtyard to the "pregnancy" section.  I was then weighed and had my blood pressure measured.  Next, I went into another room to be seen by the midwife.  She asked if I had any complaints, then checked the baby's heart beat with a hand held Doppler, and lastly manually checked the baby's position.  The midwife finished by asking if I needed a prescription for vitamins.  That was it! 

It went smoothly, though a few differences did stick out.  The first was their scale, which was a very simple one.   It showed I had lost about 10 lbs. since my last visit in the big city.  When I got home I weighed myself again, on my very simple scale, which said I weighed the same as my last check-up in the big city.  The next thing that stuck out and made me laugh, at least inside, was as soon as I exposed my pregnant belly the midwife said, "Oh, what a pretty belly!"  We usually all get comments on how beautiful our 'white' skin is, which my belly certainly is, but all I could muster up was a thank you.  Lastly, the midwife said the baby is currently in a horizontal position.  This stuck out to me for a couple reasons.  At my last check-up in the big city the doctor, by means of an ultrasound, found the baby in a head down position.  I have also heard multiple stories of friends whom were checked by midwives here, told their baby's were head down, then it turned out they were not.  I'm not too concerned at the moment as there is still plenty of time for her too move and she sure does make big movements, but as with anything it could always be lifted up.  The funniest part to me about the baby's position was the midwife and my friend concluded it must be because the baby is small, though there was nothing to go by expect my physical appearance. 

It was a new experience and worth going, if only to have my blood pressure and the baby's heart beat checked.  Many people deliver their babies there, but Him willing, I still desire to deliver in the big city!