She just doesn't want to...

      Yesterday a new friend came over with her 4 year old daughter.  During our visit she told us about her daughter’s poor health, lack of teeth and many doctor visits.  The majority of her daughter’s top teeth and many of her bottom teeth had rotted away.  Not much later the mother told us how her daughter just didn’t like having her teeth brushed, the toothpaste was ‘spicy.’  We showed her the kids’ toothpaste our boys use.  She responded in the affirmative, she had seen that toothpaste before, but her daughter just wouldn’t let her teeth be brushed.  Later the mother made a comment about just trying to keep her daughter happy. 

      I, Erin, so often see kids with a few to a whole mouth of rotting teeth.  At first I thought this was due to a lack of education and understanding regarding mouth hygiene.  I later learned most small children are put to sleep with a bottle of milk or while still nursing.  It took still longer for me to learn that all of this, brushing teeth to the methods used for soothing, are more surface level expressions of deeper underlying values.  Peace between people and keeping other happy is highly valued in this culture.  A common saying is roughly translated, “Maintain others’ feelings.”  We have seen this in the indirect way people will respond to invitations or make requests, or choose to lie to avoid hurting another’s feelings.  This extends into the family as well.  It is important to keep the children happy, therefore giving in to the child when they protest or cry, even to the extent of avoiding practices that benefit the child’s health (tooth brushing).  I still think there is a lack of understanding among many regarding the harm of putting children to sleep with bottles of milk or the benefit of brushing teeth, and I understand how hard it is to endure a child’s whining when you put your foot down and stick to it.  But with all that said, the value placed on peace and contentment among people here seems to trump many valuable practices that may require a little hard work for a long term benefit. 

On a happy note, here are some pictures from a day trip we took on Sunday to a local hot spot known for the many butterflies.  Instead we saw a great number of.... bats!

On the road there, trees were filled with bats, during the day, chirping and flapping their wings. 



The bats were huge!



Looking at bats in bamboo.



Our friend's son wanting to take a fallen bat home!

Whitman sitting in a nook said to have been used by a man for 40 days and nights searching for purity and renewal.



Caedmon washing his face in a spring said to keep you looking young.



The path through the forest to the cave.



A nice swimming area created by a small river.

A water fall at the top of the swimming area. 



Erin's first bike ride

When I bought my bike 18 months ago an added bonus was the small frame sizes, because Erin would be able to use it too. Well, apart from trying it out once, 2 hours and 45 minutes ago was Erin's first real bike ride (and she's not back yet...hmm). Most Sunday mornings it is me who has the social engagement, but I canceled my swimming date because our favorite tutor (pictured) invited Erin to ride out to the beach. Watching the boys is getting easier every month, as they're learning to play on their own, but I'm still definitely hoping she survives the crazy traffic.

There are cows in our park!

The park in the middle of our complex, as see from out side our house.

We have a small and rather nice park in the middle of our complex.  When I, Erin, say park I mean a landscaped area with some paved paths, lots of shade, and a few bamboo benches.  There is a small roofed structure about to fall over and the occasional garbage pile being burned.  It is not the large grassy park with a play structure I often dream of taking the boys to, but there is so much shade from the surrounding trees it is quite a pleasant place to visit.  On Saturday we noticed two large cows tied to trees in the park.  I could not believe it!  The park has been home to building materials for houses being renovated and rice field plowing machines for sale, so why not cows.  It shouldn’t have surprised me, especially with the upcoming holiday, but it did. 

Two new additions to the park with two very excited boys.

We spent most of an hour looking at the cows and learning what a 'cow pie' is, right in our complex!

 

Yesterday, Tuesday, was the second largest holiday of the year.  The majority of the population celebrate it by killing a cow or goat, depending on financial ability.  The meat is then shared with the poor and also cooked as part of the day’s celebratory meal.  When we first noticed the cows we where told they were to be killed there in the park.  Last year John and Caedmon accompanied our host dad to the killing of his cows, so this year we thought we’d just go outside to the park.  By Tuesday morning though the cows had been moved to the far end of the complex where the owner killed them in front of his house instead.  The boys, only, where slightly disappointed to not be able to watch. 

We were invited over to a tutor’s house to eat dinner with her family that evening.  We enjoyed two varieties of wrapped rice, goat, chicken, noodles, and vegetables.  Today we ate lunch with our host parents.  We had wrapped rice and beef cooked three different ways.  The flavor of one in particular I really enjoyed; tasting like it might contain coconut.  After placing another piece on my plate I noticed the texture of the meat was slightly different.  I’m pretty sure that dish was made mostly from organ meat (heart, liver, lungs).  The flavor was good, but the texture is just not appealing to me.  As we left our host mom gave us a bag full of beef.  As she handed it to me she explained it was cooked so it would keep longer, but not seasoned at all.  It looked rather strange, was room temperature, and smelled strange.  I heated it up in the pressure cooked with some BBQ sauce and we ate it for dinner, so hopefully all will be well tomorrow J.  Throughout the day we were also gifted with many of the wrapped rice varieties. 

We are still having new experiences after more than a year!  Enjoy a few extra pictures from the weekend as well!

Three varieties of wrapped rice.  Each has a different name, uses different leaves, and at least one a different kind of rice.

Cooked beef given to us. 

Limes from our back yard.  John went crazy on Saturday picking limes for our breakfast.

The longest paint brush I've ever seen!

A wooden structure built in front of a home for special occasions, usually weddings.

Moving right along...

I (John) have just been hired to promote a brand new academic center at the end of the earth. 

Okay, at least offered a job... 
Before they can hire me, the institute will first have to gain permission to hire a foreigner, which could take six months.
But the best news is that we still have six months remaining on our current student visas, so we have worked out a deal which will allow us to move there to focus on studying the local language and culture while we wait for my work visa to be approved.

One other exciting development, my boss-to-be has offered the newly added second story of his house to our family as we transition there. This will hopefully allow us to adjust gradually to our new lifestyle in a much more isolated spot. Caedmon and Whitman will have a three year-old playmate there, in addition to an elementary schooler and a middle schooler.
As for the town, it is set on a beautiful coast which has both Oregon-esque beaches with big sharp rocks and even cliffs, and other beaches which remind me more of what you would see in Florida (sea walls, piers, plenty of sand and no rocks). And the water is warm and there is plenty of sunshine and mild weather.

Thank you for thinking of us as I made my first journey up there for a two-day interview, abandoning Erin and the boys and spending two nights out of three on a bus. I definitely did not sleep much, but I spent the trip home marveling at (and a bit intimidated by) the fact we have such an ideal an opportunity to benefit a community in really big ways.
For now, we have about six weeks left to iron out the wrinkles in communicating via the national language, and round out our understanding of the majority culture here. Then we will have our last language and culture evaluation and move to our new home at the end of November. There are plenty of things in this transition which could make our lives easy or cause us big headaches/inconveniences, and we will do our best to keep things updated here...

A Miscellaneous Mixture

A Miscellaneous Mixture is the second dictionary definition of one of my favorite local dishes here.  The first dictionary definition better explains this dish as a 'vegetable salad' with 'a spicy peanut sauce.'  It is a miscellaneous mixture of vegetables, mostly green, of which I did not often eat in the States, but with the delicious peanut sauce I would probably eat almost anything (of the food variety that is). This dish is served warm, usually without rice which is rare for most dishes here.  I finally learned how to make it from a friend of ours.  It turned out to be quite simple considering it is from scratch; I even had to roast the peanuts myself!  So if you are feeling adventurous here is the recipe and some notes, enjoy!

A Miscellaneous Mixture
(all measurements are approximate because my friend didn't measure with anything except her taste buds)
2 cups roasted peanuts (if using salted peanuts decrease salt later)
5 shallots (or cloves of shallots, never used before living here), cut in half
3 garlic cloves, cut in half
1/2 inch ginger root
1/3 cup brown sugar (which here is actually palm sugar and literally is called 'red sugar')
1 Tbls salt
water until desired thickness (about that of pancake batter)
chili pepper (I omitted as it adds heat more than flavor)
Steamed vegetables of choice.  I used watercress, bean sprouts, yard long green beans, and a few carrots.
Hard boiled eggs, sliced
Tofu - dusted with flour and pan fried

1.) Fry the shallots, garlic and ginger in oil until fragrant and softened. 
2.) Blend peanuts, shallots, garlic, and ginger in a blender or food processor.
3.) Combine blended mixture, sugar, salt and water in a medium sauce pan.  Heat until well combined and desired consistency and flavor is obtained (I know this is difficult if you don't know how it is to taste, so I'll try to paint a picture.  The sauce is thick and course, but will run off a spoon.  It tastes like peanuts with additional seasonings, which I could not have listed from just tasting, but the ginger is key.  It is sweat, but not overwhelmingly.  Every time I order it at a restaurant the spiciness is different, so omitting the chili pepper really didn't change the flavor for me.)
4.) Place the vegetables and tofu on a dish.  Pour sauce over the top and place sliced eggs on side/top. 
Enjoy a taste of our side of the planet!

Caedmon's first presentation

     We are in our fifth week of homeschooling-kindergarten.  Last year Caedmon attended a local pre-school for all of two weeks.  We took him out and never went back.  Our main goal for him at the time was to learn the local language.  Fortunately through regular play and interaction with locals he is learning quite a bit. 

     This year we decided it would be best not to weaken his enthusiasm for learning by entering him into a local school again.  So on August 19^th we began kindergarten at home.  It is going very well.  Caedmon is ready to start every morning, excited about learning, and constantly asking when we will use the activities I, Erin, have on my shelf.  I too am fully enjoying it, so much so it has become a competitor for my own language study.  I would much rather prepare for Caedmon’s class than for my own language session. 

     I scheduled 10 “field trips” into our year, with the first a week ago Monday.  I’m still slightly at a loss for where we will go or what we’ll do for all them.  So, for our first field trip we just went outside to the small park within our complex.  We talked about the parts of plants and collected examples for a ‘report.’  Back at home Caedmon glued our examples onto a paper and I wrote down headings.  The following day I asked him to give John, Whitman and I a ‘presentation’ about our field trip and the examples on his ‘report.’  It was a lot of fun.  At his age my goal in many areas is broad exposure.  So exposing him the parts of plants and trees in a concrete way, and the terms for a report and presentation with out really emphasizing much else was a lot of fun.  Enjoy the videos!

 

     I feel so blessed to be a part of my child’s formal education.  Years ago I never envisioned myself homeschooling, but I am loving it!  I really appreciate the flexibility we have to slow down when Caedmon struggles with a topic and the opportunity I have to see him learn new information and master previously difficult areas.  And this is just kindergarten!

It's a girl!

No we are not expecting, sorry mom.  Our neighbors just had a baby girl.  This is their second, the first is a little girl 2 1/2 years old, just like Whitman.  According to the local culture new babies are not given a name until a special party which usually takes place on the 7th or 8th day after their birth.  The 7th and the 8th day came and went and we didn't see any large crowds gather at our neighbors nor did we receive an invitation.  Come to find out the party can happen really at any time, but it is best if it take places within the first 20 days of life.  2 weeks after mom and baby came home we were visited by the mom to ask our permission for a large tent to be put up outside our gate.  We were also invited to come for lunch at the special party.

Party tent right outside our gate.
  These go up in front of homes for weddings and funerals too, often closing down the whole street.

The night before a large tent was set up directly in front of our gate.  At this time a goat is killed as well.  We were not aware until the next day when the meat was served.  Apparently one goat is killed for a girl and two for a boy.  At 6am the morning of, the family, which includes an extended family of 5 siblings and their perspective families, began preparing.   The road was swept and motorcycles moved.  I, Erin, quickly offered our garage area as parking for the family’s 4-6 motorcycles and one car.  . 

our garage area as a motorcycle parking lot

The event actually began that morning with a few close relatives each cutting a piece of the new baby’s hair and reciting a prayer.  The hair is then collected and placed in a coconut.  We have heard some plant the coconut afterwards, but are not sure about this specific instance.  At some point the baby’s name is also announced to this intimate group.  This all took place inside the neighbor’s house first thing in the morning so we unfortunately did not take part.  The rest of our morning was spent outside watching the preparations and playing with the neighbor kids.  The event we were able to attend was a catered buffet set up outside for friends and relatives to enjoy.  We ate around noon and stayed another hour.  Guests came and went, eating and visiting until at least 4pm.  Most visitors just sat outside eating.  Often the women would venture into the house to greet the mom and new baby.  By 7pm the tent was down and all was cleaned up.  All in all is was quite a big event consisting mainly of food and visiting.  It was fun to take part in the celebration of their daughter’s birth, even if we didn’t quite understand it all. 

 

Neighbor kids and their cousins sitting in front of our gate. 
Our neighbors are the two on the end left side, and the one in pink second from the end, right.
  The new big sister is second from the end, left. 

waiting to eat

Generous Neighbors

We seem to have a mutual trading relationship with our neighbors.  They frequently present us with samplings of local food; anything from leftovers to portions from regular every day meals or special events.  When they learn the boys like a certain food, they bring it over.  Other times if we take them something, souvenirs from a trip, an extra pan of brownies, they quickly reciprocate.  One morning, I, Erin, was talking with the other mothers out buying fruits and vegetables when a man delivered a flat of eggs to them.  We then talked about how all our kids like eggs, especially the whites but not the yokes.  Shortly there after, one of the mothers brought over a bag full of eggs. 

 


shrimp - the 3rd or 4th occurrence!

 

Whitman displaying the long antennae



It has become quite regular for them to bring us bowl of shrimp; shrimp larger then I’ve ever seen before.  The neighbors regularly visit the port before 6am in the morning to buy a whole case of shrimp, then often share their purchase with us.  One time after I unassumingly told them we like squid, we were given a bowl full of squid.  Come to find out they are actually cuttle fish.  I have never bought, much less prepared squid nor cuttle fish.  Actually the only reason I recognized the name ‘cuttle fish’ was from a kids cartoon program the boys watched in the states before we moved, over a year ago.  Thankfully my trusty Fanny Farmer cookbook explained how to clean and prepared them.  I dusted the cuttle fish in flour and pan fried them.  They were quite good, very similar to squid!

cuttle fish



traditional meal for the biggest holiday of the year: wrapped rice in center, spicy salsa over hard boiled eggs, chicken in a mild curry, and vegetable in broth

We’ve been given vegetables, candy, cookies, birthday cake, bags of nuts, and complete meals.  Their generosity amazes me time and time again. 

TV Repairmen

The sound on our television has been broken for two months.  This fortunately has only disrupted the boys' morning cartoons, which is a little bit of a mystery to me, Erin, as they don't understand all that is said anyway, yet they just didn't want to watch if there wasn't sound. 

Yesterday John saw an add in the news paper for a TV repairman.  John called the number first thing in the morning and arranged for the man to come the same day.  As we sat down to dinner at 6pm, a man knocked on our gate and immediately entered, coming straight to our door.  We were slightly surprise as we didn't recognize him.  John quickly found out it was the TV repairman and invited him in.  He quickly checked the TV, then asked his assistant, who was still outside, to bring in his bag.  His bag was brought in and opened, then not a minute later the men both left to go pray, leaving their bag behind.  We were slightly surprised and moderately confused as not many words were exchanged.  In our position, after living here for over a year, encountering very friendly people, and feeling safe, we continued with our dinner.  Though I have seen way too many movies to keep from letting my imagination wander.  One half hour later both men returned.  They proceeded to take apart the TV, right on our living room floor, and check into the problem.  They determined it to be an issue with the speakers, so the main repairman, left in the above picture, left on his motorcycle to by new speakers.  Shortly after he returned, now 7:30pm, they both left to go pray again.  Thankfully they returned in 15 minutes to install the new speakers, check the function, and reassemble the TV.  At about 8:30 they left. 

Much of the in-between time the assistant, right in the picture above, talked continually with John.  We learned a great deal about his personal beliefs.  It also elicited many questions in our minds.  John was able to follow up with a tutor today about their style of dress and a few of their adornments.  It was a very interesting experience and goes to show that culture and beliefs cannot be generalized across a whole people group.  Overall it was not the TV repair experience we were expecting!

 

 

Learning Culture

    Our first night on the southeastern island last week began with dinner at our friend’s house.  As the guests we were asked to eat first.  As we ate, our hosted just watched and continually encouraged us to eat more.  Even after setting our plates down, as we ate sitting on the floor, we were told to ‘please eat more.’  After dinner and a little conversation we said goodbye and were seen out by our friend.  On the way to the car our friend told us we were going to stop by his cousin’s house, thankfully just next door.  After being welcomed in, we were served juice (actually cold water with added fruit flavored syrup), then asked to please eat.  We politely declined again and again after many attempts by our host to offer us more food.  Our actions in the end were fairly disrespectful.  Even if we had just eaten, which they all knew we had, eating some of the offered food, however little, demonstrated respect and value towards our hosts.  Throughout our trip we visited many homes and were constantly encouraged to eat or drink more.  One visit was to a guy’s house with whom we had just spent the entire morning.  I, Erin, expected the visited was intended to introduce his family.  When we arrived his family were just leaving.  Never the less we were asked to please go inside, then they all left.  We then spent the next hour visiting with the same people we spent the morning with, were served ‘juice,’ and many other small treats.  Another unexpected visit occurred after lunch one day  as we were returning to the hotel to put the boys down for a nap.  We were told our friend’s uncle was expecting a visit from us and we were now going to stop by.  After arriving at the house we were served snacks and visited with his aunt for 15 minutes before we politely excused ourselves.  The uncle had been taking a nap the whole time so we did not even meet him.  I am learning having guests in your home is very important in this culture.  The duration of the visit nor who is at home at the time seems to be important.  Having someone actually IN your home, even if it is to just sit in your ‘guest room’ is very honoring.  At times we are left completely alone while the hosts leave to prepare snacks.  The constant encouragement to eat more is their way of hosting and caring for guests.  Looking through my own cultural glasses I feel pressured and unconsidered.  Yet through culture study I learn this is their way of loving on me and treating me with great respect.  This trip was a reminder as to why we study culture along with the language.  If we can better understand where they are coming from we will be able to better understand what they are communicating.  Then one day we too will be able to communicate clearly in a manner which truly speaks to them, not just with our words but with our actions as well. 

A Successful Trip

One month ago we attempted a trip to our friend's home on an a southeastern island.  Yesterday we returned home from a successful visit to this island in need. 
A tropical island, covered in palm trees, surrounded by clear ocean water, shown to us by our own personal tour guide (our friend) sounds like a dream vacation!  I, Erin, am still adjusting to the culture around us so the trip was much more a 'cultural experience' than a vacation.  Since our current goal is language and culture study the trip was beneficial and provided a great opportunity to watch for future possibilities, though very stretching (more in the following post).

the port as we left on a ferry

on the ferry with our friend

another seating option on the ferry

making friends on the ferry

exhausted from leaving at 5am and taking a 4 hour car ride + 2 hour ferry ride + 1 hour car ride

visiting historic/tourists sites: this in an ancient gong, one of a pair, left by explorers

traditional still house

people who gathered to... look at us

Visiting a friend's grandmother's house.  She lived about an hour outside the city, in a small village.

Caedmon in the entrance-way of the grandmother's house

inside the grandmother's house, a stilt house as well

guest and family room of the grandmother's house



we were served lunch at the grandmother's house: boiled cassava, boiled eggs, buffalo meat, vegetable in broth and oranges from the family garden

neighbor's house across the street

parakeet type birds, just hunted and most were still alive: for eating

visiting the family's garden

picking oranges

looking at pumpkins in the garden

a view on an hour bought ride to this adjacent island to enjoy a well known beach on an uninhabited side of the island

a fisherman

visiting our friend's house I noticed this neighbor wood working while his wife cooked over a fire

since coconut trees are in abundance, coconut meat is dried out over a small fire to be sold for processing into coconut oil

chopping the dried coconut meat to be sold

picking young coconuts for a treat

opening the coconuts, these women (cousins of our friend) were very skilled in this

collecting the coconut water

Caedmon helping to remove the young coconut meat

eating the young coconut meat with a natural spoon (from the outer shell)

A cousin's house, newly built.  Most newer homes are of brick and cement construction, though stilt houses are still built. 

Playing with small fish caught in the backyard river and making new friends.

Our friend's aunt, mother, and youngest sister. 

Whitman was content to be carried around and shown the chickens and dogs.  She was concerned he would be too hot under the sun and covered him with a sarong. 

A hillside grave yard.  According to the majority religion the head is placed towards the north with the feet facing south.  Then the grave is marked to last over time and decorated as one chooses.

Temporary markers on a new grave.  Two are used for females and one for males.  As family and friends visit the grave they shower it with flowers, leaves, and water.